With the end of the school year comes the rapid migration of college students nationwide to their own corrupt piece of paradise. Most college beach hotspots have turned into alcohol-drenched wastelands full of belligerent kids.
But to people like me in that “belligerent kids” demographic, these crazy beach towns are a sanctuary reserved only for that gleefully erratic behavior us college kids are stereotyped as embodying. Regardless, there are some things in these towns that beachgoers should be aware of in order to have a fun and (relatively) healthy time.
Probably the most important strategy would be avoiding the youngins. In the drinking sense, I’m of course referring to seniors, senior weekers, beach weekers and any portmanteau of those terms. These unshackled high school kids that pile into houses and condos throughout most of June have that hilariously unmatched yet extremely reckless indecency that police can sniff out from blocks away. You don't want to be guilty by assocation, and the police are unforgiving when it comes to underage drinking.
This mirrors my next strategy, which is pretty obvious yet sometimes easier said than done: avoid confrontations with the law enforcement altogether. It’s easy to calculate the positive direct correlation between high volumes of underage drinking and high presence of police activity (nearly every college town follows this formula). The police clearly aren’t the friendliest toward our age group when we're responsible for causing shenanigans in their town every year, so utilize common sense. Don’t walk around with beer, opened or unopened. Don’t stumble across the boulevard. Basically, keep your sh** together.
I was going to finish by saying avoid the greasy, expensive fast food, but giving that advice would be an exercise in futility. Subs, pizza and fried Oreos are impossible to avoid on most boardwalks. If you can count the number of salad places on more than one hand in any stereotypical college beach town, please let me know and call me a moron.