Your stomach’s churning and you experience uneasiness. You feel excessively stressed and anxious. That’s around the time when you turn on your stereo to find a Taking Back Sunday song is on. To reiterate: a Taking Back Sunday song is on.
So you hang your head low while negative, self-defeating thoughts brew away. You’re dangling your arms by your side and think, “Oh, no.” Your mind runs through all of your past mistakes and failures regarding classes, jobs and relationships and you sigh, “Oh, no.” The stereo’s blasting your song and you’re not sure if you’ll be okay. Yeah, it’s a self-pity party in the U.S.A.
This scenario may sound familiar to some. However, please do not fret! Here are a few ways to overcome self-pity:
Confide in a Friend or Relative (Instead of Keeping All Your Troubles to Yourself)
When you share your woes with someone you trust, you can minimize the burden of single-handedly dealing with your dilemmas. Salt Lake Community College sophomore Evan Foster is well acquainted with the signs of self-pity and insecurity,
“Wherever I go I get this feeling, this assurance that I’m going to screw up anything and everything I touch.” Foster has dropped out of a class and quit a job because of this bleak mindset.
To triumph over pessimism, Foster recommends, “Go out with friends or family, have a good time with them. Tell them your problems, and instead of seeking sympathy, seek advice. Advice will make you acknowledge the situation.” Foster said by acknowledging the problem, you are taking the first step to fixing it.
Get Involved With Activities You Care About
If you occupy your time by accomplishing another task, you won’t have the opportunity to feel sorry for yourself. UC Davis sophomore Jennifer Nguyen knows this from experience:
“My first year in college was tumultuous. I felt so helpless and out of control of my own life!” Nguyen saved herself from what she considered “a pit of endless despair” by picking up new hobbies (she learned to enjoy cooking healthy recipes) and actively participating in her school’s organizations. “I became involved on campus through student government knowing I can make a difference,” says Nguyen.
Learn to Move Past Your Faults to Realize What’s Truly Important
Forcing yourself to relive your past blunders only obstructs your ability to progress in life. Nguyen offers more insight:
“I spent so many nights ruing every single day, even the most trivial things. It wasn’t until I stepped back and looked at the whole picture I realized that life can and will get better.”
She used to worry about approaching people, because she feared they would not like her as a person. However, by disallowing her woes to define her, Nguyen learned to accept herself. She said she achieved self-confidence by being honest to herself and by being who she really was.