Pick-Up Tips From…The Online Dater

Even in college, sometimes it’s hard to meet potential daters or approach that cutie in class. In case you’re a little shy, Scott Goldfarb has the answer. He’s a Journalism and Sociology major at NYU and also, an online dater. See what he has to say about picking him up on the worldwide web!

CM: How did you start dating online?
I just decided after my freshman year of college that online dating would be something worth trying. I’ve always been a bit of a romantic and while I had found some interesting women at NYU, I hadn’t found the one for me. I thought online dating would be a way to expand my options.

CM: How do you find potential partners online, and how do you know that they are legit?
I mostly just stick to two free dating websites, OKCupid and DateMySchool and just browse them. For OKCupid, I just take it on faith that they’re legit. With DateMySchool, because they limit people joining based on having a university e-mail, I tend to figure that it’s going to be a real person.

CM: What is the best thing about being an online dater?
You are able to see a wide variety of women who you might not have had a chance to run into in person and who you know are interested in dating.

CM: How do you pick up someone up online?
I just read what they write carefully and usually try to find something in their profile that’s really appealing to me– a shared interest in acting, a favorite band we have in common, etc. Then I message them and establish that we have something in common and ask a question about it. This allows a conversation to start and shows that I’m attentive to what they write.

CM: What is the strangest thing anyone has ever done or said when trying to pick you up online?
Here’s the sad fact of life: when you’re a male, you’re more than likely not going to be picked up online but it’s going to fall to you to take the initiative. This will obviously vary, but for the most part, that’s how things have fallen for me. So, there hasn’t really been anything strange that’s happened to me when people try to pick me up.

CM: How long after chatting do you meet up in person?
This will vary from person to person, from just a few days to a few weeks. Generally, I try and aim for a week or so, but it always depends on the comfort level of the other person.

CM: Is it better to be bold or mysterious while trying to pick you up?
Boldness it better for me, because while it’s good not to know everything at once, I still tend to like people who are more direct.

CM: How do you let down someone you’re uninterested in?
I’d probably either say that I’m not interested in them that way or just not reply after a while.

CM: What tells more about a person’s sexuality what they write, their screen name or their profile picture?
A combination of their profile picture and the questions they answer that relate to sex and sexuality.

CM: What is your biggest turn-off online?
Definitely poor spelling. If someone spends the entire profile just constantly screwing up every single word, I’m guaranteed not to reply.

CM: What about your turn-on?
I like women who describe themselves as quirky or have really good taste in film, music, books, etc. Also very helpful if they’re into the arts. This makes it seem more likely that we’ll be able to get along.

CM: All right, last question: what advice would you give to someone who wants to pick you up?
I would just say, be yourself and show that you’re responding to me and not just to any other guy on the website.