Kate Upton, Please Fix Baseball

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I played baseball from the ages of four to 18, but I will be the first one to tell you that it is a boring sport. Did I enjoy it? Sure. But I am not under the impression that baseball is riveting to the general population. So I have been assigned with the task of brainstorming some ways that baseball can be more interesting and entertaining.

There are some practical ways we could make the sport more palatable, like maybe reducing the number of games each team plays, or better yet, we can talk about Kate Upton.

Really, there’s no situation in which Kate Upton’s presence wouldn’t make it better, but the combination of sports and smoking-hot women is really what America is all about. Here are some ways the SI swimsuit cover model could help out MLB:

1) Dougie-ing

Kate is a master Dougie-er, and her skills could absolutely be utilized at every ballpark in the country. I’d like to propose a law that if Upton attends any Major League game this year, the Dougie HAS to be played, no questions asked. If Major League clubs knew what is good for them, they would abide by this rule.

2) Instead of the seventh inning stretch, it should be the seventh inning “Kate Upton makes fun of her boyfriend Mark Sanchez”

Who doesn’t love a good Mark Sanchez joke? I know I do. What would be better than a beautiful girl making fun of her unimpressive NFL boyfriend? Probably nothing. I mean, let’s get real. Nobody is showing up to an August game between the Pirates and the Astros – we might as well give this one a try.

3) Kate Upton bobblehead night

Use your imagination.

4) Kate Upton and friends

The only thing better than Upton at a baseball game would be if Upton came with her SI Swimsuit friends to a baseball game. Now that’s a posse I’d like to be a part of.

5) Kate Upton: the beer lady

Ah, the crème de la crème. This is, in fact, the best possible way for the MLB to attract fans. She would be a real life St. Pauli Girl, and I can guarantee that if marketed correctly even Orioles Park could sell out for this one. Women and beer, it doesn’t get too much better than that!

Sophomore > Journalism > University of Maryland

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