Those drunken nights – the ones we either forget or wish we could – have become almost a staple in college students’ lives. You could be attending a frat party, going to a football game, clubbing, whatever, but wherever your night takes you, you may be that person who always end up back in bed with the same guy or girl. I’m not talking about your boyfriend or girlfriend, more like your “special friend”. That go-to person, the one you know you’ll always be able to sleep with. A trap.
“I start the night thinking that I’ll go out and meet some hot guys, some hot new guys. But then I just get plastered and wake up next to the same person I always do. I don’t like him or even find him attractive, he’s just easy and there,” said Brenda*, a junior at the University of Michigan.
So why do we do it? For Brenda, going back to that same person is just easier and more accessible than finding new one. It’s also a guaranteed hook up. After asking several college students why they always return to the same person when they’re drunk, the reason seems to boil down to just one: comfort. There’s something safe and comfortable about falling into bed with someone you know. Let’s be honest…getting into bed with a stranger is creepy and almost always awkward. What’s appropriate, where do you sleep, do you spend the night, can you cuddle? Sleeping around, besides being uncomfortable and slightly dangerous, could also get you negatively branded. And that bad reputation will make even your go-to person think twice about you.
“I really like flirting and hooking up with different people but I’m really careful about who I have sex with. I know that my [go-to] guy is nice, clean and good in bed. That’s really all I need from someone I’m sleeping with,” said Brenda. “It also just looks trashy if you keep sleeping around with different people and sooner or later all the people talking will come back to bite you in the ass.”
The only problem that seems to crop up is emotion. Often the people we gravitate toward when drunk are people we would never consider dating or even touching when we’re sober. We all know that a few beers can make anyone more attractive, but if it’s a serial offense, you can’t keep using that excuse.
“The guy’s nice but kind of gross,” said Brenda. “I don’t find him attractive and I probably wouldn’t do anything with him if I were sober. Luckily we both use each other when we’re drunk, but if someone had more feelings for the other person we’d be in trouble. For now, we’re just better as drunk hook up buddies.”
The takeaway? Learn from Brenda. You don’t want to be the one every guy humps then dumps so it might be better to designate a go-to person to be on the safe side. But watch out for feelings and make sure you’re both on the same page – no dates, just (drunken) sex. If that’s what you’re into.
Photo taken from cdn2.gurl.com