How to Handle Running into Your Ex

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Dealing with a break up while away at school may seem difficult, but it is not as hard as facing it when coming home. Especially when living in a small town, the chance of running into your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is more than likely.  The real question is: what do you do when this happens?  Instead of running and hiding all winter break, CM has a few ways to handle running into your ex.

The Three C's Casual Run-In

Stay Calm, Cool, and Collected.

Everyone reacts differently when running into his/her ex and some people go to extremes. One extreme is the overly nice.  No one expects exes to run into one another and be totally at ease, yet some people actually respond that way.  Pretending that nothing is wrong and that you two are just old friends running into each other at a local bar is one way to deal with the run-in. 

The Casual Run-In includes a smile, small talk, and absolutely no mention of the problems of the past or the possibilities of the future.  Whether or not you actually feel one hundred percent comfortable talking as just friends with your former significant other is a mystery to him/her.  The most important part of this method is acting perfectly okay with what is going on now.

 

If You Ignore It, It’ll Go Away

Usually this is what your mom tells you about your younger siblings, but hey, it could work in this case, too, right?

Sometimes the best thing to do is just to avoid a potentially awkward situation altogether, even if it means ignoring the person you cared so much for.  This does not necessarily mean that if he/she comes up and starts a conversation to completely blow them off.  It just means not to initiate any start of contact and do your own thing.  It may not accomplish any sort of closure, but it beats having a major blowout in the middle of a bar…

Bar Blowout

And when ignoring him/her doesn’t work… the bar blowout might actually do the trick.

Maybe not in the middle of the bar, but once outside it feels nice to let go.  After months of practicing what you would say if he/she showed up at your door, you can finally release all of the built up anger.  Saying exactly how you feel without censoring a word is another way that people react to seeing their exes.  Usually this is more impulsive, especially if they were the dumpees. 

Rage is one of the major steps in coping with a break up so it’s only natural to take it out on the one who dumped you.  Many times it even results in a feeling of weight being lifted off of your shoulders. 

(s)Ex

And finally, ex sex.  This is probably one of the most controversial, yet common ways that people react to running into their ex.  There will always be feelings for that person in the back of your mind and seeing him/her after all this time will cause many of them to rush to the front.  Add alcohol into the mix and the chances of hooking up with your former lover greatly increases. 

The problem with ex sex is that usually one ex has more feelings than the other and will end up getting hurt all over again.  Sometimes a relationship will rekindle after a hook up, but many times nothing changes.

 

Senior > Communications > Pace University

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