How Much Love is Too Much?

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It’s hard to tell when you’re walking the fine line between loving and smothering. Being in love takes you to new heights but if you’re not careful, you could suffer a long fall down from Cloud Nine. There is such a thing as too much love, and it manifests itself in ways that could drive your partner away.

“I’ll go to your class with you.”

Being able to enjoy large amounts of time with a person is necessary for the relationship’s success. Spending time together is an essential part of any relationship, but some space and time apart is crucial. Just eating lunch with the girls or going out for drinks with the guys provides some much-needed personal time away from your sweetheart. Signs could be following you to class, always waiting for you outside of your dorm, or frequently going into your room unannounced and uninvited.

“Who are you with? What are you doing?”

The constant calls and instant messages were bad enough, but texting has transformed paranoia into something much worse. When you’re out with your friends or family and your partner texts you until you’ve reached a level of annoyance, there’s a problem. If your guy or girl is always questioning what you’re doing and who you’re with it could mean a detrimental sense of distrust in the relationship. It’s healthy to pause communication for a few hours, especially when you’re busy with other things. Sending a quick thinking-of-you text is sweet, but sending ten texts in 30 minutes asking insignificant details of your day is just crazy.

“You can’t hang out with that person.”

Your partner should have your best interests at heart, but someone crazy in love might begin to restrict your freedom. Telling you that certain people are “off limits” to hang out with or that you can’t be alone with someone is a big no-no. Telling you that you can’t do something implies that they have control over you, which can cause some bigger problems in the relationship. Sometimes you have to be considerate and maybe refrain from hanging out with your ex all the time, but no one should be able to tell who you can and can’t be friends with. If your partner is controlling when it comes to whom you’re hanging around with, tell them to gain some trust or they’ll be left in the dust.

“Let me meet your mom!”

 College relationships seem to be more serious than high school relationships, especially when it involves family. High schoolers will often take their boyfriends or girlfriends back home simply to have a place to hang out. That set-up makes familial introductions easy and almost inevitable. But relationships in college are much more removed from the home, especially if you go away to school, and require a build-up to meeting the family. Don’t let your girlfriend or boyfriend invite herself or himself over to meet your family before you’re ready. Making friends with the family is a big step and should be taken with caution, so don’t bring someone crazy home to mama.  

 

Sophomore > Journalism and Environmental Science > NYU

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