Herman Cain Couldn’t Catch ‘Em All

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If you were under the age of 13 in the late 90’s, then chances are you went through a Pokémon phase. Any Generation Y college student who doesn’t know who Professor Oak is or that training a magikarp is useful because it will eventually evolve into the mighty gyrados should be ashamed of him or herself.
 
The one and only Herman Cain, an enigma of a man who would be uncategorizable in a Pokédex, prompted this nostalgia trip. Last Saturday, Cain announced he was suspending his campaign due to controversies stemming from allegations of sexual abuse and a 13-year affair. More importantly, he finally admitted that he had been quoting a song from a Pokémon movie in a few of his campaign speeches.
 
During a Republican debate on August 12, Cain whipped out this pearl of wisdom: “As a poet once said, life can be a challenge; life can seem impossible; but it's never easy when there's so much on the line.” Anime fanboys around the world had a collective nerdgasm when they realized Cain was quoting “Power of One,” a Donna Summers song featured in the film Pokémon 2000.
 
 
Cain may still not to be ready to come clean about anything else he has been accused of, but he finally confessed his pokéknowledge in an interview with GQ. He claims that he first heard the song on NBC during the 2000 Olympics and did not know it was associated with the Pokémon franchise.
 
“And so I fell in love with this song, fell in love with how she sang the song, and fell in love with the words,” he told GQ. “Committed it to memory. Now, why did I commit it to memory? Because one of things that I did before I ran for president is I was a professional speaker. Not a motivational speaker—an inspirational speaker. Motivation comes from within. You have to be inspired. That's what I do. I inspire people, I inspire the public, I inspire my staff. I inspired the organizations I took over to want to succeed. I love the song.”
 
In a field of cookie-cutter candidates (Mitt Romney), buffoons (Rick Perry) and Michelle Bachmanns, Cain stood out as, dare I say it, a maverick. What presidential candidate in his right mind would so blatantly expose his nerdy side like that, especially with the knowledge that YouTube and Internet memes would immortalize such a brazen stunt? If nothing else, Cain was certainly never afraid to speak his mind.
 
Granted, it has always been hard to take him seriously as a legitimate presidential candidate. His only previous experience was as president and CEO of Godfather’s Pizza, not to mention the fact that I’m still not 100 percent sure he knows what Libya is. It’s still sad to see Cain drop out of the race, especially because of the life he injected into such a bland affair.
 
Mr. Cain, you will be remembered for being a psyduck in a land of dittos, a nonconformist in a sea of boring candidates. You never had a chance of becoming president, but thanks for the entertainment!
 
Photo: at www.screenjunkies.com

Junior > Journalism > University of Maryland

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