As a senior sometimes I like to believe that I am wise – not in a math, science, history way, as I would have hoped I’d be at the end of my college career. That would be wishful thinking. But maybe I know a little something about philosophy, or at least the philosophy of love.
OK, even I know that’s corny, but even if I’m not wise at love I can say that in my four years I’ve wisened up about dating. Now, don’t come to me for matchmaking or love potions, because I won’t be any help, even though I do know that a shot of tequila instantly makes the person next to you more attractive. But after being in the ring for a while you learn some things. Don’t sleep with a guy on the first date if you really like him. Shoes that make you taller than your date are never acceptable. The list goes on and on. But seriously, in the dating world, it doesn’t hurt to respect your elders. That being said I talked to a few fourth year girls and asked them what they wished they knew about dating when they were freshmen.
My first dating veteran, Serafina Spink, a senior at Boston College, said “Don’t go looking for it. When it happens it happens. Even if it doesn’t come for three years or all of college, it’ll happen.”
Unfortunately, freshmen and upper-classmen alike who are on the prowl are specialists in the chase. That is, they’ll go to the ends of the earth to find that special someone – or at least to every frat party they can get to in their high heels.
“I wish I had known as a freshman that to fit in I didn’t have to drink and go to the school parties to find someone,” said Katie Reilly, a senior at Stonehill College. “I lived the party lifestyle until the summer of my senior year. Most of those nights that I look back on, I am not fond of because it is not the person who I really am.”
And it takes a while to figure out who you really are. Even though Katie eventually found her Prince Charming, it didn’t happen right away. You may have a certain idea of the kind of person you want to be and the things you want when you start college, and your ideas might be completely different by the time you’re graduating. I know that’s true for me.
According to Bianca Monico, a senior at Loyola University Baltimore, “As a freshman, if there is one thing I wish I knew, it’s that the guys don’t know who they are until Sophomore year.” So do you just sit around your Freshman year and wait? No. “So have fun,” said Monaco. “Real dates are worth it later on. Not now.”
And even if you do find a boyfriend it doesn’t mean that your journey to love is done. So many of us focus so hard on finding someone special that we don’t think of what happens after the first date. In regards to boyfriends, Megan Daley, another senior at Boston College said, “Don’t expect that he will be perfect, because he will be far from perfect.” Ain’t that the truth.
As for me, I always thought the right guy would just hit me. Going into college I had an idea that there would be a grand moment when the stars would align and I’d just know. But that’s not how it works. The guy that you think is right for you, the picture of the relationship you think you’ll have in your head, isn’t always the guy you’ll fall for or the relationship you’ll get. So don’t be scared – take the challenge, go on the date, hook up with that guy. Maybe it’ll work out and maybe it won’t, but don’t waste these four years by never trying.
Photo taken from 123rf.com and funnyordie.com