Alternatives To A Real Job

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Get good grades so you can get into a good college so you can get a well-paying corporate job so you can retire to a Florida beach home someday. That’s the life path that we are taught to follow and programmed to pursue. But times are changing — at least that’s what we tell ourselves to justify our choice of major. When times are tough, just make up a job! Here are some occupations that reject all notions of corporate life.


Do you find that you’re able to predict the demise of your friends’ bad relationships with complete accuracy? Have you successfully dabbled in the stock market? Turns out, psychics make $41,000 a year. It’s well above the average salary and you don’t need a useful college degree to do it — just a sixth sense.

Submarine Cooks

No, this is not a fancy way of saying you work at Subway. These people work for the Navy underwater and even live there. Submarine cooks are known to make a cool $187,000 a year in Australia. It’s a great way to make your culinary dreams come true — if you’re willing to be without daylight for long periods of time.

Fortune Cookie Writer

Those completely meaningless yet sometimes ominous fortunes don’t write themselves. Here is an actual job posting for it. Great for English majors if that short story/novel thing doesn’t pan out.

Computer Hacker

For the Computer Science majors out there, we know you’re in high demand and are  guaranteed a well-paying job. Still, for the rebels out there, companies hire hackers to find weaknesses in their software. Stay on the good side while dabbling in the dark side for $120,000 a year.

Secret Shopper

Getting paid to shop? It’s a dream come true for those of you living on a tight budget. Companies often pay people to buy their products and write reviews. They are even asked to check out competitors and spy on their business practices. You get free products and get to be pseudo-private investigator all-in-one.

The next time you feel like you are completely unhirable and wonder whether you have a future as a stripper, remember there is a job for everyone — it just doesn’t have to involve suiting up and working in a 20-story glass building.



Senior > Journalism > University of Maryland

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