All My Friends Are Paired Up and Won’t Hang Out with Me Anymore…

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Your friend has a new boyfriend/girlfriend and you no longer have your partner in crime. What to do, what to do….New Year, New Friend.

Let’s get to it.

Freshmen! Your friends from home are scattered across different universities and some picked up a new beau.  Now, you have to start all over.

Dirty little secret: You will not know who your real friends are until mid-junior year. It is not to be said you will have no friends until that point, but the “Ron & Hermione’s” do not become clear until much later.. And some might not make the “that friend” list until the 2nd year, but ya had some good laughs with some fair bets prior to that. 

Your Play: Find a friend in your classes. People are their true selves in class; their priorities, work ethic, and attitude are very clear in a classroom setting. Even more, nothing brings people together better than a common enemy, in this case: your syllabus. So be a bit bold and ask a fellow classmate to make a study guide, or work together after class. You will find that while you “make the study guide” you will most likely procrastinate with talk of your personal lives and hang out on another occasion.

Sophomores! By Sophomore year you foolishly believe that you’ve found you’re group, your niche, but you’re wrong. If that was your group, your life was sad.

Your Play: This is the time that the atmosphere of clubs and classroom friends become a better suit because you are fine-tuning what you want to do in life. Thus, you will find like minds and passions in your major courses and club activities. This is the time to get bold and follow your passion.

Juniors! You’re going abroad. So all your friends were in relationships: aren’t anymore.

Fake Relationship Alert: When they say they aren’t together but they still talk to each other, and they “like each other so much” they want the other to go off and “have fun” but really, their consistent communication and postcards are a long distance relationship. This results in either: a good one because you have your wingman back, and they won’t steal your catch; a bad one because they mope at the bar and leave early. Pray for the former, prepare for the latter.

Your play:  You’re abroad! Go make some new friends and keep up with the old ones. A friend here is the difference of who leaves you in the discoteca and who hangs tight with you til’ the end. The American friends are easily discoverable. If you want to make some foreign friends go to a local place habitually. Introduce yourself and ask their advice for places to go. When I was abroad I went to the same coffee bar and night bar all the time. To this day I am good friends with the owners of both establishments and had some great nights with their workers.

Seniors: Realistically we are going to keep in touch in the long run with maximum 5 people and 5 is pushing it. Even more, friends will be scattered and their love lives will be too. So it’s freshmen year, but this time in the Real World.

Your Play: Do not play with co-workers – search outside the office for friends. Cities are full of opportunities to volunteer, join a club (book, running, music), or use the best thing about this generation: the Internet. Seriously, you might have forgotten that your childhood friend moved out west too, look around you might actually have a connection in your new city. Better yet, alumni network of your high school or college.

 Like relationships, friendships do not always have to last forever. Each one is an adventure and has its part in the growth of who we are. However, the ones that last forever are with people who know everything about you, and like you anyway. So the person who knows you exaggerate stories, like to make a scene, have bad taste in music and still sticks around: tell tale sign they might be there in the end.    


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Senior > International Business and Italian > Loyola University Maryland

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