Can I be blunt? College kids have the wrong perspective when it comes to romance. Too often we roll our eyes at the suggestion of its existence. We caution ourselves for the sake of saving face and heart. And when we do make the effort of love, whether it be a weeklong pursuit of a crush or a yearlong relationship, if and when it ends badly, a bruise forms.
We reminisce on the moments that person made us feel alive and get hurt that he or she is no longer there. And then we create a little more of a barrier. Yeah, this is the crux of the problem: we have the wrong perspective. So, here is a quick four-step process to get you excited for your own teenage dream:
1.) Stop Whining
Why don’t I have what [insert romantic moment/couple] had? There could be numerous reasons that you and your friends can speculate and come up with. However, this will do nothing for you in the long run. What happened happened. You are you. Stop analyzing your life for the black holes and…
2.) Think of the Good Times
I do not care how frivolous of a relationship you had or how intense it was. Everyone has a movie moment, even if it was only a stare from across the room, a kiss with no name or a deep love turned sour in the end. Somewhere behind the weeds of the ending there was a moment when you felt alive. Think of that moment.
3.) Separate the Moment from The Person
For some people that moment is deeply associated with a person. You think of the moment, you think of the person, you start to think what went wrong and now you’re sad. Fantastic. This is part that gets challenging. See, that moment happened with that person, but they don’t own it. The moment is special because of the way you felt and if you think that no one else can make you feel that way, then you haven’t been falling in love enough.
4.) Fuel the Adventure
I’ve had more than a few of those ‘feeling alive’ moments and every time I hit the ground I confess there’s a wound. The interesting thing about bruises and cuts is that some fade while others leave a scar but all of them were the result of having felt the altitude of Cloud 9. The memory should be used as a catalyst to get you excited about the next time. Once you get a taste of Cloud 9, you;’’ have an unquenchable thirst for more.
In short: your choice of words should be “I can’t wait for the next time.” Whether you are the loudest at the bar or the shy observer, we all have a little adventure in us. Indulge it will you? Don’t guard yourself from the scars; leave yourself open for the chance to find a new love. So make mistakes, learn where the Band-Aids are and remember scars are the result of gettin’ a taste of a teenage dream. Take a chance and don’t ever look back. Ya, with me?