It is natural to become jealous when an ex gets into a new relationship, but by focusing on yourself and knowing that these feelings are normal, it can help you to move “on to the next one.”
Amy Owens, known professionally as “The Singles Coach” and author of The Itty Bitty Break-Up Book, explained that each gender handles a break-up differently.
“When a relationship ends, women grieve and men replace. So it’s way more likely that [a man] will have moved on to a new relationship while [a woman] is left with a belly full of feelings – hurt, anger, loss, confusion, and jealousy,” said Owens.
Time heals all wounds and there are many ways to move on. It’s important not to get discouraged.
“A good way to overcome jealousy is to intentionally shift your focus to taking good care of yourself,” said Owens. “This might include taking some downtime– quiet time to read, think, or chill. Alternatively, it might be good to fill the void that person left in your life with other people like friends and family.”
While taking this time to refocus, Owens believes you should avoid trying to get your ex back, and any form of retaliation is a bad idea.
Yet, this doesn’t mean that you should seclude yourself from the rest of the world.
“Remember the reasons why you aren’t with him anymore and feel sorry for the next girl,” said Seminole State College junior Annette Torres. “Go out, flirt and meet new people.”
University of Alabama senior Taylor Ensign said, “Guys are actually way more sensitive than they seem and they’ll want to talk about it. So don’t obsess about it at home alone, go out and be social. You’ve got to stay busy.”
Focusing on your emotions, spending time with family and being outgoing are all simple ways to keep busy and avoid dwelling on your ex and his or her new relationship.
“If all else fails, eat a ton of ice cream,” said Torres.
Once you remember that jealousy is a normal emotion, you can leave the past behind and get back to doing you.
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