It’s been a challenging week for us. I want to start off by thanking you for proving to me that I’m the procrastinator I always imagined I was.
Despite this, you’re asking a bit too much of me. I just can’t hang out four times a week, and a Saturday morning? C’mon, that’s a bit needy don’t you think? I’m also starting to think that you’re enabling my Adderall dependence. What would my mother say?
Our first date was on a Monday. Sunday I was ecstatic. I prepped for hours, ignored my friends’ pleas to watch Breaking Amish, and even got eight hours of sleep. I knew you front and back. I gently caressed you with a pen instead of a pencil…that’s confidence. Then came Tuesday.
Our relationship was still new. Again, my friends tempted me with trash TV and again I denied them. My loyalty amazes even me. I only gave myself a few hours, skimped on my sleep a bit more than I should have, but still showed up for you.
You seemed a bit disappointed in my performance but I was exhausted from yesterday, give me a break. What am I, the energizer bunny?
Finally you gave me some space, a day to breathe. Naturally I drank my feelings and woke up Wednesday with a hangover. I tried to call off our plans for the next morning; I even tried getting my hands on a doctor’s note. You were (not surprisingly) unresponsive.
Waiting until the morning-of to study was a mistake. My appearance alone proved I was unprepared. I apologized for my lackluster performance but I’m sure you’ll still give me bad marks. Typical.
By Thursday afternoon I was determined to kick your ass (in a good way) on Saturday morning.
Now, it’s Friday. Having just learned that there’s a tailgate tomorrow morning, I have some unfortunate news. There’s no easy way to say this, but I’m not showing up. I know it’s last minute but let’s face it, the withdraw period doesn’t end for another week and well, this has been a long time coming.
See you over the summer, maybe? I hope there aren’t any hard feelings.
It’s been real,
Image: Northwestern Flipside