If my parents ever figure out how to get on “the Facebook” and read this, let it serve as a formal apology. I’m sorry for rolling my eyes and groaning every time you decide to drop some knowledge on my undeserving self. Parents tend to repeat themselves over and over again, but it isn’t until college that you find out that everything they’ve said is truer than you ever imagined. Like they say, mother knows best.
1. This too shall pass
Because everything that happens to you when away from home is equivalent to the Earth exploding.
2. The truth will always come out
Little white lies just don’t cut it anymore. You messed up, you own up.
3. Always make sure you can support yourself
Stop wondering how your future spouse is doing on finals and make sure you have a plan for yourself.
4. Motrin is a cure-all
Your entire body hurts? Take two Motrin. Heartache? Couldn’t hurt.
5. If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?
You really don’t need that piercing to fit in with these people.
6. These are the best four years of your life
Stop wasting them watching Netflix.
7. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket
You’ll get screwed over more than a few times.
8. Why don’t you give him another chance? I would never have married your father if I didn’t
Stop being so judgmental; this isn’t high school.
9. …”Not that there’s anything wrong with that”
Applies to absolutely everything from failing a test to being confused about your sexual orientation. You do you, I’m sure you’ll figure it out in time.
10. Why are you getting all dressed up?
Nobody is looking. Be confident in whatever you wear.
11. Don’t sweat the small stuff
It was just one test, just one boy, just one mistake.
12. Nothing good ever happens after midnight
Yes, that includes your second dinner of greasy pizza.
13. You don’t need that
On what planet is it acceptable to pay that much money for a shirt?
14. Clean your room
You’re a real person now and it’s gross.
15. You’ll understand when you’re older
Ugh. So condescending but so true.
So what’s the worst part? You’ll find yourself saying the exact same things in a few years.