Life would be so lovely if there were such things as teleportation devices. Wake up, change, scarf down a bagel and ZAP. You are instantly in class. Sadly, this isn’t the case and getting to class on time (and alive) for us college students can sometimes be a struggle. The roads are scary out there, kids, especially at Florida State University. Read on for some transportation tips so you can arrive to class uninjured and not looking like you just ran a marathon.
Ah, The Lovely Campus Bus
I take the bus to class everyday. I also have a love-hate relationship with the bus, as do many students here at FSU. The Garnet, Gold, Heritage, Renegade and Tomahawk routes are every FSU student’s “frenemy.” There are many more unwritten rules that you have to follow than you may think, like letting people off before you get on and thanking the bus driver. Speaking to all bus riders: please give up your seat for handicapped people, elders and pregnant women. Among all those tips, check out what some students have to say:
“Don’t freaking fart. It’s rude.” -Erica Gordon, Sophomore
“When the bus is empty, please don’t sit right next to me. The smell of cheap perfume and stale cigarettes is nauseating.” -Patrick Duggan, Sophomore
Like an Episode of Rocket Power
You should only skateboard, longboard or pennyboard to class if you have the coordination not to run anyone over. I know for damn sure only the most skilled people should use this to get to class. The Tallahassee hills may send you flying to your ultimate death. You need to maneuver through herds of phone zombies, English majors reading while they walk and people who just don’t pay attention to their surroundings. The rule for this one is to be cautious and to keep people around you safe. No wipeouts today, dude.
“Be care when riding a longboard on the street. It’s not legal and cops can pull you over and write you a ticket if they have nothing better to do.” –Matthew Ivers, Junior
“Chill out with the penny boards when there’s a crowd of people. Don’t swerve around me while I’m walking like everybody else. Your class is right there, you’ll make it if you walk. I swear.” –Mike DeSimone, Sophomore
Texting & Walking Ruins Lives
Every person on this planet who has a cell phone can be guilty of this terrible crime. Walking while texting may seem like a super easy thing to do, but it’s not. I promise. Whether you claim to be the most coordinated person ever, or think you’re completely aware of your surroundings all the time, you aren’t. Texting and walking means you’ll probably be bumping into people. You’ll be walking at such a slow pace that people will curse you under their breath while they pass you. Most importantly, you might hurt yourself.
My freshman spring semester I was in Tully Gym walking down the stairs and texting, which resulted in me tearing almost all of my ligaments in my right ankle and fracturing it. You can’t make this shit up. Crutching to class in the rain over these Tallahassee hills is no easy feat. And neither is learning how to drive with your left foot.
Parking is a Cutthroat Game
Jumping into your car to drive to school is something only the bravest souls can do. The days I do muster up the courage to drive, I leave so much more early because traffic is always insane. Trying to find a parking spot is even more insane. There is no way that Florida State has enough parking spaces for the students. It’s like they enjoy watching students become way too overly aggressive to secure a spot for their precious 2015 garnet and gold-clad BMW.
Use your turning signals accordingly and try not to steal a spot from someone. You’ll get honked at, flicked off, cursed out and then have bad karma for the rest of the day. But it might be a risk that you have to take.
“Sometimes you have to be an ass in order to get a spot. It’s anarchy out there.” -Will Polmear, Sophomore