Sex on the Beach? Maybe Not…

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It’s no secret that summer is the primetime for college students to check sexy, exciting adventures off of their bucket-lists. Watch the midnight showing of Harry Potter 7.2 in costume with your best friends, check. Pull an all-nighter with your lover beneath the summer sky, check. Take up wind-surfing, check. Have sex on the beach, err… don’t check that one off just quite yet.

If doing the dirty (it’s more literal than you think) on a moist, sandy beach is on your agenda, there are a number of gross details that might pose a threat to you and your seaside fantasy.

The feeling of warm sand on your skin may prove to be enticing, but what are you actually feeling? How about shocking levels of Enterococci, the bacterial culprit responsible for urinary tract infections, diverticulitis, and meningitis? Suddenly sex on the beach doesn’t sound so sexy.

There’s also the physical feeling of sand rubbing in and against your most sensitive parts! So I guess if the thought of sanding the inside and outside of your baby-makers intrigues you, by all means grab your beach towel and cross “Irritate and cause long-term damage to my urinal and intestinal tracts” off your summer to-do list.

Oh yeah, and sex is actually illegal on some beaches. Unless you want your story to include getting arrested and charged with indecent exposure, like a teen couple in Ocean City in recent weeks, you might consider having sex somewhere else that’s less government-owned. 

If you’re hell-bent on crossing “Have sex on the beach” off your to-do list, why not try a sneaky loophole? Cool off from the sun’s rays with a refreshing ‘Sex on the Beach’ cocktail (or mocktail if you’re underage). Technically you will have had “Sex on the Beach,” right? 

Sophomore > Journalism and Environmental Studies > NYU

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