• Menu
  • Skip to right header navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to secondary navigation
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

College Magazine

College Life, Dating, Career & Campus Advice

  • Colleges
    • College Guides
    • College Rankings
    • Campus Life
      • Academics
      • Dating
      • Freshman Year
      • Health
      • Social Change
      • Party
  • Majors
    • All Majors
    • Most Popular Majors
    • Choosing a Major
  • Intern
    • Internship Directory
    • How to Get an Internship
    • How to Write a Resume
    • How to Write a Cover Letter
    • How to Interview
    • How to Network
    • Career 101
    • Find Your Passion Career
  • Money
    • How to Make Money
    • How to Save Money
    • How to Get a Job
    • Credit Cards 101
    • FAFSA
    • Ramen Project
  • Travel
    • Study Abroad
    • College Spring Break
    • How to Travel Cheap
    • Things to Do
  • Shop
    • Writer Course
    • College Magazine Shop
    • Gift Guides
    • College Packing List
  • Find your college or university
  • Colleges
    • College Guides
    • College Rankings
    • Campus Life
      • Academics
      • Dating
      • Freshman Year
      • Health
      • Social Change
      • Party
  • Majors
    • All Majors
    • Most Popular Majors
    • Choosing a Major
  • Intern
    • Internship Directory
    • How to Get an Internship
    • How to Write a Resume
    • How to Write a Cover Letter
    • How to Interview
    • How to Network
    • Career 101
    • Find Your Passion Career
  • Money
    • How to Make Money
    • How to Save Money
    • How to Get a Job
    • Credit Cards 101
    • FAFSA
    • Ramen Project
  • Travel
    • Study Abroad
    • College Spring Break
    • How to Travel Cheap
    • Things to Do
  • Shop
    • Writer Course
    • College Magazine Shop
    • Gift Guides
    • College Packing List
  • Find your college or university
  • About Us
  • Team
  • Write
  • Apply
  • Privacy Policy
  • Sign Up
  • Advertise
  • My Account
  • Cart

You are here: Home / Life / Dating / How Many Times Should We Hang Out Until We Have Sex?

How Many Times Should We Hang Out Until We Have Sex?

February 15, 2016 //  by Meg Riley

Shares89FacebookTweet

Spoiler alert: I don’t have the answer. We live in a sensitive world, and sex is a sensitive topic. Ultimately, your sex life and your beliefs are your own business. There shouldn’t be rules to sex; it should be a natural thing. Whether you practice abstinence or you have the occasional one-night-stand, if that’s what makes you happy then that’s all that should matter.

“I think sex is not something that should be taken lightly. You should have sex whenever you want to, but for the right reasons. If you’re trying to fill some kind of void, casual sex will not help you,” said Duquesne sophomore Alex Corrie.

When we’re younger, we’re taught that having sex is a huge step in a relationship and that we should only sleep with another person if they’re that “someone special.” Our upbringing plays a big role in our view on sex; our religion and environment help shape our opinions on the topic. The lessons from our parents and the religions we practice help mold our views.

I was always taught that sex is a natural thing, and it’s my own opinion on what I want to do as long as I’m being safe and mature with my decisions. People I’ve met who are highly religious sometimes practice abstinence, while others are more free and open with their sex life. With these opposing ideas, we’re left making these decisions based on our own judgment.

Penn State sophomore Logan Handwerk said, “A good rule of thumb is to stick to the 3-5 date rule,” while sophomore Matthew Davis said he sticks to 5-7 dates. Unfortunately, dating culture has nearly died out in our generation. Instead of planned consecutive dates, we “hang out” in groups of people or meet up at parties. It’s hard as college students to find the time—and money—to plan and follow through with true dating. So how are we to gauge how long we should wait before hooking up? “I think it depends on your level of comfort with the situation. It shouldn’t matter whether you sleep together on the first date or the fifty-first date. It’s whatever you feel comfortable with,” said Nicole Coddington, a sophomore at Indiana University of Pennsylvania.

The media has greatly skewed our ideas about dating and sex. Instead of dating, we “talk” and utilize dating apps such as Tinder to easily make connections with other people. We’re exposed to music and movies promoting the hookup culture. Rappers preach about getting with new girls every day and when we hear that, it seems like the thing to do. However, it’s still not uncommon to hear of those who practice abstinence or those who stick to a certain amount of dates before getting intimate.

“I stay abstinent because when it comes down to it, I believe sex ties to you to someone in a certain way for the rest of your life,” said Morgan LeVeille, a sophomore at Southeastern University. “It was created as a way for two people to avoid ‘just growing apart’ from each other and to help marriages last through tough, dry times. That’s why I wait, because when I commit to loving someone for the rest of my life I want that bond to be as strong as possible.”

Every person you meet might have a different view on sex, but instead of acknowledging our differences, we quickly jump to voice our opinions on each other’s lifestyles. Words like “slut” “whore” and “prude” need to stop being thrown around in reference to other girls. Whether somebody has slept with a dozen people or is still a virgin, it’s nobody’s business to comment and put another person down.

“Sex to some people is an extremely intimate act and then to others strictly for pleasure,” said Penn State sophomore Molly Swanson. “Take Samantha and Charlotte from Sex and the City for example, they have completely different outlooks on sex but always are offering one another support and advice. Women today should follow in their footsteps of accepting each other’s sexual differences.”

When I was in high school, I was slut-shamed for being with my long-time boyfriend after a few months. I had friends stop talking to me, nasty comments written in my yearbook and I was too afraid to even confide in my mom (and if anybody knows me, they know I tell my mom everything).

People can be cruel, but the lesson I learned from that is that you’re going to be judged no matter what you do. Everybody loves everybody else’s business.. Whether you decide to have sex with someone after the first date or decide to not have sex until marriage, you will be judged. You just need to keep in mind that others’ opinions are simply that–opinions, and they’re not something to be worried about.

“There is a double standard where guys are looked at as triumphant for getting with numerous girls, and girls are degraded for having sex just for the hell of it,” said PSU sophomore Celia Wittrock. “Evolutionarily speaking, guys are meant to spread their genes, and girls are meant to commit to one man and bear children. Slut-shaming can be claimed as evolutionary. Everybody is guilty of it at one point or another, but that doesn’t make it right.”

Ultimately, the decision to sleep with another person is your own. Do what makes you happy and always protect your feelings. Don’t let those who shame keep you down, and don’t comment on the actions of other people. Remember, it’s none of your business.

Shares89FacebookTweet

Filed Under: Dating Hooking Up

About Meg Riley

Writer. Far too sarcastic for my own good. Dad Music Enthusiast. Sophomore at Penn State studying Journalism.

You May Also Like

25 Relationship Memes That Will Make You Cry Laughing

meeting someone new

Stop Swiping: 10 Ways to Meet Someone Special Without Dating Apps

Halloween Isn’t the Only Time for Ghosting Anymore

You're My Person holding hands

“You’re My Person” and 21 Other Ways to Show Someone They’re Special

unsplash.com

Homework Over Heartbreak: The Truth Behind College Relationships

The Most Compatible Zodiac Signs for a Match Made in the Stars

dating

The Real Life Confessions of a Retired Online Dater

On Solitude in Cities

Romantic Couple

Advice That Everyone in a College Relationship Needs to Hear

5 Self Love Questions to Ask Yourself Before Entering a Relationship

talking stage

SOS: How to Navigate the Talking Stage in College

10 DIY Gifts Your Boyfriend Will Actually Appreciate

covid-19 dating

Your Ultimate Guide to Dating Safely During COVID-19

20 Date Ideas for Couples on a Budget

best pick up lines New Girl Schmidt and Cece

21 Best Pick Up Lines That Are So College

How to Get Sparks Flying with a Guy at a Party

Frat house from Neighbors

How I Ended Up Finding Love in a Fraternity Pregame

Couple in LDR video calling before they go to bed.

Navigating an LDR Amidst the Frat Parties and Casual Hook-ups

How Dating a POC Helped Me Accept Myself as an Asian-American

couple dressed as shaggy and Scooby

10 Crafty Halloween Costumes for You and Your “Boo”

Being a Queer Student Has Been Hard, But Not for the Reason You Think

being single in quarantine

Confessions of a Single Gal in Quarantine

dating

The Paradox of Choice

Modern Love

Previous Post: « The Rise of Social Media and the Collapse of Good Health
Next Post: Of Monopoly and Naked Men »

Primary Sidebar



Trending Posts

70

Top 10 Weird Scholarships You Can’t Miss

67

10 St. John’s University Finals Activities to Help You De-Stress

60

24 Ways My 2020 Survival Guide Turned into 2021 Lifestyle Habits

55

The Ultimate Auburn University Bucket List: 21 Things to Do Before Graduating

mental health
36

Pandemic and Academic Blues: Being Aware of Your Mental Health

Featured Chapter: St. John’s University

Footer

logo

College Magazine is the national daily guide to campus life. Our articles for college students feature university rankings of U.S. colleges, college guides, academic advice, college prep, career advice, student health and collegiate dating tips.

Written by students for students, by a team of journalists from universities nationwide, we’re on the pulse of the college experience.

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • RSS
  • Twitter

Colleges

  • College Guides
  • College Rankings
  • Campus life
  • Academics
  • Dating
  • Freshmen Year
  • Health
  • Party

Majors

  • All College Majors
  • Most Popular Majors
  • Choosing a Major

Intern

  • Internships Directory
  • How to Write a Resume
  • How to Write a Cover Letter
  • How to Interview
  • How to Get an Internship
  • How to Network

Money

  • How to Make Money
  • How to Save Money
  • How to Get a Job
  • Credit Cards 101
  • College Loans

Travel

  • Study Abroad
  • College Spring Break
  • How to Travel Cheap
  • Things to Do

Shop

  • College Packing List
  • Gift Guides
  • About Us
  • Team
  • Write
  • Apply
  • Privacy Policy
  • Sign Up
  • Advertise
  • My Account
  • Cart

Copyright © 2021 College Magazine · All Rights Reserved · Powered by BizBudding Inc.