I’m telling you now, long distance relationships make you more emotional than you ever knew possible. Can you watch the movie Marley and Me without crying? You sure can’t, and you certainly can’t survive a long distance relationship without shedding a few tears, too. I’m not saying that long distance relationships are sad or miserable. In fact, I’m a firm believer that living apart from the one you love can build the strongest connection. However, I think it’s important that we long-distance-relationship-buffs bond over how humorously pathetic being in a relationship with someone hundreds of miles away can be.
You’re more attracted to your computer screen than a party
Your friends will never comprehend the comfort of staring at a pixelated-version of your significant other. It’s no surprise if your computer screen thrills you more than the bumpin’ party next door, and nothing is wilder than falling asleep next to your digital S.O. at 8 p.m. on a Friday night.
You fear that you’re becoming a bitter old lady
Some days you just can’t stand other couples. You find yourself mumbling under your breath at the innocent couples around you. “I hate that you’re eating ice cream together.” “I hate that you probably brushed your teeth together this morning.” “Do you HAVE to hold hands while you walk to class?” Nonetheless, at the end of your gloomy day, you just have to admit to yourself that you’re jealous. A jealous, bitter, lonely and somewhat pathetic, semi-old lady.
You worry about your sanity
I find myself alone doing laundry or getting dressed and talking to myself in crazy, made-up accents or dancing around my room like a flying saucer. Sometimes doing your everyday activities alone makes you nutty. You get bored of doing these by yourself and you end up comforting yourself with bizarre voices and dances…Or at least I do.
you’re just bummed some nights
You’re 10 times more sensitive to things. Your S.O. goes out with his friends or has to cram for a test, and for some reason it makes you irrationally sad. Tears start pouring out of nowhere. You start questioning why you’re putting yourself through a long distance relationship. Who knows, you may even start questioning your very own existence. This classic night usually ends on the phone with your S.O., and you both spend the entire night crying together rather than sleeping.
Your brain is filled with details of your S.O.’s life
Say you talk on the phone for one hour per night. That’s a whopping 365 hours per year. You start off each nightly call by talking about your day in greater detail than anyone ever needs to know. You can shamelessly name every single meal your S.O. has eaten this week. Eventually, you run out of things to talk about and things get strange. “Sooo… If you could be any kind of food, what would it be?” This may not be productive, but a long distance relationship will certainly teach you a jumble of random facts.
You’re a living countdown.
The countdown app may drive you mad. 32 days. 31 days. 30 days, 10 hours and two seconds. The plus side: You know you’re golden when you’ve finally made it to the single digits.
You never feel like you spend enough time together
Try to cram a month’s worth of adventures into one weekend; it’s a real doozy. There’s never enough time for everything, especially since all you really want to do when you’re together is sit in bed with a few bags of potato chips and each other. And then starts another countdown: “Shoot! We only have 22 hours left together. We HAVE to do something besides eat chips in bed.”
You never get used to the goodbyes
You may think you’re tough. You can tell yourself a million times that you won’t cry this time. You will. You’re a sloppy, snotty mess time and time again. But hey – another countdown will start, your loneliness may make you a little wacky and bitter, but you’ll always find your way to another blissful reunion.