The birds and the bees are a force of nature that our parents seem to have forgotten about. Is it just me, or are parents not really giving “the sex talk” anymore? Realistically, all they need to do is turn on MTV’s 16 and Pregnant and quote some Mean Girls, “Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant. And die.” And that’s a wrap. Sex Talk Over. Right? Well, for our generation, that might have been the case. Within this article you’ll find a few stories of awkward parent moments coupled with some pop culture that did all the dirty talk.
Ambushed on a Plane
Imagine you are a 12-year-old boy sitting next to your dad on a plane coming home from vacation. One would think the conversation would be light, thinking about the days ahead, or maybe you’d take a good nap. Well, not for Danny Medico, of Loyola University class of 2012. Unfortunately for him, as he buckled up for lift off, his father turned to him and said, “Son do you know about sex?” Danny describes it as the no escape method. Stuck in a chair next to your father in a public setting. No physical or rational way to avoid, run or escape from the ensuing conversation. These days Danny likes to travel alone.
Oh hey, Skinimax and HBO. Sure the kids who had premium channels were the ones that learned through these guys, but that didn’t stop them from subsequently educating their friends at school the day after. Remember that pubescent boy who just wouldn’t stop dropping bombs of crass remarks about where everything goes? That’s the guy who made it awkward when Sally Smith walked home and asked her parents what the general buzz is that boys learned from late night HBO.
The Debt & Regret Talk
There are some creative parents out there, especially the ones that are fiscally responsible; like the story about a boy, who requested to be unnamed, who said his father sat him down, showed him the financial statement, pointed to the private high school expense, and said this is why you wear a condom.
Santa Clause and Sex
Nothing like cousins trying to trump each other in knowledge. Remember those days with siblings, cousins or even friends, when it was all about who knew more. Well, sometimes ignorance is bliss on those ego trips. Or at least it might have been for Tommy Gasbarro, Loyola University class of 2012. He explained, “My talk came a little premature because I told my cousin (same age) that Santa wasn't real and he told me what sex was so then my parents had to tie up all the loose ends.” Never thought I’d meet a kid who’d bring the conversation to the parents, but hey way to be progressive.
Private & Public Classrooms
Yo, why have your parents teach you about sex just when they pay taxes for the school to whip out the banana and a condom; or the carefully mastered informational 1980s video that focused on Sexual Transmitted Diseases (kudos). This might have been the reality for those public school kids. While the private school kids, especially the parochial sort, learned something along the lines of “the flow of God” with whips of allusions to marriage.
My Story? Driving to school in the morning was awesome for the sole reason of listening to Z100, a popular top hits radio station of the New York Area. On this station sometimes they’d cross the line, but for the most part adult conversation happens to go over a kid’s head right? Well, one morning after reporting the pop news that Jennifer Lopez and Puff Daddy were seen buying condoms and whipped cream, I couldn’t help but ask my mom what condoms were. I was in 4th grade. Let’s just say we started to listen to different radio stations. Mean Girls wasn’t around yet, ya know?