Five People to Avoid at the Beach

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Summer is in full swing and many of you want to enjoy a peaceful, relaxing day at the beach. You can’t wait for the hot sand, scorching rays and clear waves ahead. But, as soon as you spread out your towel and slather on some sunscreen, the piercing voice of one of “them” pulls you back to reality.

There are always those people at the beach who seem oblivious to the rest of the world. It often feels like it’s their personal mission to ruin your day.  In attempts to avoid this fiasco, CM has come up with a list of five people to avoid at the beach—good luck!

1.)  The Butt Crack-Bearing Bathing Suit Wearer

Without fail, there is always that one guy at the beach that can’t seem to find a proper-fitting bathing suit bottom. If that’s not bad enough, he decides it’s a good idea to run around on the beach and into the water, further exposing his backside to all. If the sight of him doesn’t kill a relaxing beach day, I don’t know what does.

2.) The Douche-y, Football-Throwing Meathead

Even putting your Ipod at max volume can’t tune out the obnoxious yelling of this character as he tries to let anyone within earshot know that he is AWESOME at catching a ball thrown from 10 feet away. And not just that, he is also wasteddddd. Stay far away—his ego takes up a lot of space.

3. The Overbearing Sunscreen-Happy Mom

If you encounter the wincing faces of children being endlessly sprayed and attacked, turn the other direction. It’s bad enough to have to listen to her screams of “Stop running!” or “Don’t go too far!” (Isn’t it ironic that these mothers usually have the most misbehaved children?) But getting a mouthful of not-so-great-tasting sunscreen spray is enough to put a damper on your day.

4. The Prepubescent Selfie-Taking Teenyboppers

The high-pitched squeals and abbreviation-laden conversations should lead you straight to them. These 12-to-13-year old girls are just SO excited to be spending day at the beach with their friends! They’ll make sure to take hour-long photo shoots to document every single event and probably chat non-stop about Justin Bieber’s new album (no offense to Bieber.) Avoid at all costs.

5.  The Overzealous, Music-Blasting Partiers

Last but not least, we have the think-they’re-at-a-house-party posse. This group doesn’t leave home without portable radio in hand—and speakers because the music just isn’t loud enough—and fists in the air. They’re ready to rage and don’t care who sees. It’s their party, you can cry if you want to.


Sophomore > Journalism > University of Maryland

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