Fake It to Make It: 10 Lies All College Students Tell

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Let’s face it: we all lie. Sometimes they arise from one too many drinks or are used as the ultimate tool of avoiding that creepy guy down the hall who keeps asking you to play Magic: The Gathering. While lies are common, they also get extremely annoying. We’ve heard them all. If you find yourself running low on lies, add some of these to your list.

 1. “Sorry, I’m busy.”

This is the ultimate lie that should be in everyone’s liar, liar utility belt. However, be sure to keep these short and sweet. You don’t want to get caught in a web of lies.

2. “I’m not drunk.”

News flash: you’re wasted. That wall is not a life preserver and the room isn’t spinning.

 3. “C’s get degrees.”

While this rhyme may ring true, the scheme also works for ‘B’s’ and ‘D’s’. Maybe you should go to class.

 4. “I didn’t do it.”

The RA knocks on your door, asking if you punched a hole in the wall. Unless you have a bloody hand, you may find yourself uttering this.

 5. “I don’t use Tinder.”

He said while discreetly swiping left on his phone.

 6. “I totally studied.”

This is when you also get to try out if “C” really is the golden answer.

7. “I totally scored last night, bro!”

Sure you did. You probably scored the most points on Call of Duty.

8. “I’ll get this assignment done weeks in advance.”

Do you ever wonder if the person saying this is actually trying to annoy you, or are they actually serious? Either way, you can be sure it gets done the night before it’s due.

9. “Of course I went to class”

You may have gone in a dream, but unless it adds to your overall GPA, it doesn’t count.

10. “I’m so ready to graduate!”

Unlikely. Because, like any other undergraduate, you revel in the fact that graduating is the absolute last thing you want to talk about. Enjoy college; you may regret using that lie once the day comes.

Jason Credo is a fourth-year English major at San Diego State University. He hopes to one day be able to write an Emmy award-winning TV show that gets ten seasons and then becomes syndicated.

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