One of the greatest aspects of college life is the morning-after recap with friends. Students stumble out of bed, grab water and gather around the living room to replay (or remind themselves of) the events of the night before. Whether it’s too much drunk-texting or waking up in a stranger’s bed and having to endure the walk of shame, there’s always a funny story to be told the next day. CM asked students about their most shameful and awkward morning-after moments:
“A few weeks ago I got more hammered than usual because it was my friend’s birthday, and I took a girl back to my place at the end of the night. We had some fun and everything was great until the next day. I woke up to wet sheets and wet boxers, and realized I peed my pants in the middle of the night. To make matters worse, the girl had slept on top of her phone, and I had peed so much that it got wet and broke. She left angry and disgusted, and I was completely mortified.” –Ryan Rodriguez*, Junior, University of Southern California
“Last year I needed a date for my sorority formal, so I drunkenly asked a random freshman I had recently met. After the event we both got super drunk and ended up going back to his dorm. Nothing happened because his roommate was there, but I passed out and he woke me up the next morning because he had to go to class. I was planning to call one of my friends to pick me up, but my phone died in the middle of the night so I was stuck walking home. All I was wearing was a bandeau, frilly boy short underwear, an apron and heels, and of course, my hair and makeup was a mess. So I had to walk across campus looking like that while people were walking and biking to class. People stared and laughed at me; it was the longest walk of my life.” — Kate Himmel*, Junior, UC Santa Barbara
“A couple weeks ago I hooked up with a guy and spent the night at his place. In the morning he suggested we go for another round, but I really had to go pee, so I said I had to use his bathroom before we did it again. When I sat down on the toilet, a huge fart slipped out, and I cursed under my breath and prayed to God that he didn’t hear it. Well, he did hear it, and unfortunately he didn’t think it was funny. When I walked out of the bathroom, he was starting to get dressed and said he forgot he had a group meeting to go to, so I had to leave. I was so embarrassed and I’m sure he told all his friends about it.” — Taylor Stanford*, Sophomore, Claremont McKenna College
“My sophomore year I was regularly hooking up with this guy named Greg, and on my birthday night he slept over so I could have some birthday sex. We woke up late the next morning completely hungover, and I went to get us some glasses of water. I walked into the living room and my roommate was in there with three of her friends, none of whom I had ever met. All I walked out in was a blanket; my hair was a mess and my eyeliner was smeared, so it was obvious what I had been doing. Then, I heard a knock at the door and my roommate got up to answer it. I thought it was just another one of our housemates coming home, so I didn’t think anything of it. But when she opened the door, I saw my parents standing there with balloons and flowers. They decided to surprise me for my birthday, but it was the most unwanted surprise of my life. I wanted to die.” — Carol Maule, Senior, Whittier College
“It was the first weekend of the quarter and my roommates and I decided to go hard that night. We took a few shots before we left and then some more at the party we went to, so needless to say, I was pretty drunk. I met a guy at the party and thought we really hit if off, so I decided to go back to his place. After we hooked up, I wanted to go back home, but he promised me breakfast in the morning so I decided to stay. But the morning didn’t go as planned. He woke me up bright and early, said he had ‘stuff’ to do and basically kicked me out. I refused to do the walk of shame, so I called my roommate to come pick me up. She said she was just starting to get out of bed, but would head over as soon as she could. I decided to sit on the curb while I waited. Then, a few minutes later, the guy and his roommate walked out of the house and see me sitting there. They gave me the weirdest looks and the guy I had hooked up with said, ‘Oh, I thought you left.’ I replied, ‘Yeah, I’m just waiting for my friend to come get me.’ It was so awkward and they ended up just leaving, so I was stuck there, by myself, sitting by the street. — Mary Alstrom, Senior, UC Davis
*Name has been changed
