I Been Drankin’: Unexpected Ways to Survive Hangovers

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We all know the answer to avoiding hangovers is not drinking at all—but that’s impossible. Who can turn down Thirsty Thursdays? And everyone loves F—ked Up Fridays. Oh, don’t forget Sloppy Saturdays. But if you aren’t strong enough to tough out Sunday Funday, by then you’re slumming with a hangover. Even though you’re a stubborn millenial, it’s time to give these tips the old college try.

Prickly Pear Cactus

A supplement to consider is prickly pear. cactus According to WebMD, “if you take prickly pear extract several hours before you drink, it might lower your next day [hangover] symptoms by about 50 percent.” Yeah, I’ll take the 50 percent. How this supplement works is not exactly proven, but it’s suspected the “protein curbs the inflammation you get from drinking too much, and that may help stave off a hangover.” You could add this to your daily pregame routine to liven up the usual drink you have. Turns out that Prickly Pear extract is included in the majority of hangover prevention meds. Instead of spending all your money on these overpriced solutions, get the extract instead.

Sex

Yes, sex really can help you bounce back from that nasty hangover. Although there’s no scientific evidence to fully support this theory, there are a lot of elements leaning in its favor. Surprisingly, coming from Fox News, “part of what a hangover is comes from your hormones being thrown out of whack. The endorphins released through sex can dull the pain and give you a feeling of happiness.” If you’re lucky enough to drunkenly have taken home a bombshell in bed, you will surely be tuckered out after such a satiating romp. Sex releases the chemical oxytocin, which facilitates sleep. After some good ole morning sex to wipe away that hangover, you’ll be ready for nap time to make sure the pest is fully cleared. And besides, who doesn’t like morning sex? Or any sex, for that matter.

Sprite

As shocking as it sounds, Chinese researchers have found that Sprite is actually the best beverage to drink when hung over. A September 2013 study pointed out “when the liver processes alcohol it creates chemicals like acetaldehyde that causes the familiar post-binge feelings,” and researchers found that “Sprite has the ability to effectively break down acetaldehyde, a metabolite of ethanol.” Next time you’re grappling for that Gatorade or electrolyte-filled beverage, just remember that Sprite should be your go to. Not only is it a tasty beverage to begin with, but also the carbonation settles an uneasy stomach. Better yet, why not nip the problem in the bud by using Sprite as a pregame mixer instead of another drink to mask that special nectar?

Berocca

This delightful hangover cure comes straight from overseas and is especially prominent in Australia, England, France and South Africa. Berocca has just recently hit the states and might be the solution you have long been looking for. Apparently in the United States it hasn’t been marketed as a hangover cure but rather an “energy supplement.” Berocca has been described as an “an amped- up version of Emergen-C.” If you are looking to drown your night in liquor and searching for an instant fix to your drinking problem, do as the Europeans do and fizzle down your hangover with some Berocca.

Eggs

According to LoveLiveHeath after drinking so much your liver runs out of chemicals to break down toxic compounds and eggs “contain a large amount of a substance called cysteine, which your body will gratefully receive if you’re feeling hungover.” The cysteine part of eggs assists the liver in breaking down the residual toxic chemicals that alcohol leaves during your hangover. Also, eggs are protein, a great source of energy that your body will thankfully accept after the morning after sluggish struggle. Besides, who couldn’t use some eggs and bacon to soothe the memory of a night full of mistakes?

Lauren Hoffman: writer, jaded romantic, and always making a serious effort to be a flamingo among a flock of pigeons. In my spare time, I am an English Major with a Business minor at the University of Florida.

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