Disastrous Sex Stories: From the First Time

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Most people imagine their first time having sex with a new person being hot and steamy, but unexpected mishaps can ruin the fantasy. College Magazine readers share their most embarrassing, hilarious or just plain disastrous moments from their first experiences with new partners.

“I had a friend and we always had sexual tension between us. One night when we were hanging out both of us thought, ‘Lets hook up. Why not?’ Three words: worst idea EVER! We couldn’t get in a position that was comfortable for both of us and even when we finally did, we couldn't be loud because we were at his parent’s house. To make things worse, the sex was not very good and neither of us climaxed. After a while it got really awkward so we stopped. Both of us laid there silently until he said, ‘I should really be getting to bed.’ Since I had to sneak out I tried to creep out quietly, but his dad was in the kitchen when I was leaving, so it was an overall fail with no benefits.” — Satine Zim*, University of California, Santa Barbara senior

“Me and my ex, who was my first boyfriend, were having sex in his room and I was on top. All of a sudden, I hear clapping behind me and four of his friends had walked into his room and started clapping. It was super embarrassing so I just left and went back to my dorms immediately.” — Ashley Olmsted, Digipen Institute of Technology junior

“My housemates and I threw a party and, needless to say, all of us got hammered. This girl and I started talking, one thing led to another and we eventually went to my room where we attempted to do the dirty. However, a loud thud came from underneath us and I realized my bed had broken. We laughed about it, but it was pretty embarrassing."  — Dylan Phillipy, San Francisco State University junior

“I went to visit my girlfriend and it was the first time we were having sex with each other. We had our door closed and were making love doggie style when her roommate walked in — without knocking of course — and got a nice, long glimpse of my white a**. He immediately shut the door and ran to the living room. Unfortunately, it killed the mood so we stopped. We got dressed and walked out to talk to him and he said, ‘Well, I guess I understand the reason for having the knocking rule.’” — Ian Bobbitt, Cal Poly San Luis Obispo senior

“My new boyfriend at the time and I decided to be adventurous and try some new positions in the shower for the first time. Everything was going well until his foot slipped and sent us both crashing to the floor. He hit the side of the tub and was knocked unconscious, and the noise was so loud that all four of his roommates heard and rushed to the scene. I had to shamefully open the door in my towel and have them come to his aid.” — Danielle J., California State University, Chico senior

 

*Some names have been changed

Senior > Communications and Chicano Studies > UC Santa Barbara

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