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You are here: Home / Life / 25 Questions English Majors are Tired of Answering

25 Questions English Majors are Tired of Answering

December 8, 2014 //  by Kait Hobson//  Leave a Comment

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We’ve learned to silently grit our teeth after four years of being asked stupid questions by our “practical friends” that opted for a math or science major. Here’s 25 questions that will get you the death glare from every English major you come across.

1. Are you going to be a teacher?

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2. Are you going to grad school?

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britneyspearsslike.blogspot.com

3. Are you super romantic?

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Reading Romeo and Juliet doesn’t make us any more romantically enlightened than reading Harry Potter made us an expert on how to fly on a broomstick.

4. How will you make money?

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5. Can you do math?

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6. You don’t drink coffee?!

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We don’t all drink black coffee and brood.

7. Are you emotionally stable?

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I’m in the creative writing track, so probably not.

8. Do your parents hate you?

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thecookinmama.com

I WILL make money.

9. Is writer’s block real?

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Too real.

10. Can I read your poetry?

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11. How are you so good at bullshitting?

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I’m an English major.

12. Do you shower?

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Not all English majors are unhygienic.

13. Can you paint?

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Writing is an art…but not the same as visual art.

14. Are you going to become a librarian?

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Yes, four years and $40,000 later I’m going to come right back here and work in the school library.

15. Substitute teacher?

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16. Is it nice to never buy textbooks?

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Newsflash: English majors have textbooks, too. It’s called theory.

17. What does ‘fuliginous’ mean?

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I’m an English major, not a dictionary.

18. Are you shy?

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Yes, I can read—not speak.

19. Do you have a blog?

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Does it look like I have the time?

20. Is it nice to just read all the time?

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We DON’T have time.

21. Why do you need an English major when anyone can write?

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22. Can you edit my paper/resume/cover letter?

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23. Have you seen the movie?

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You have to read the book in English class—not watch the movie.

24. Can you pay off student loans with an English major?

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25. Do you ever have to study?

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No, because reading entire novels in a day and writing 20-page essays is much easier than studying for a test.

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Filed Under: Life

About Kait Hobson

Kait is a junior magazine journalism and English double major at Syracuse University who has a newfound appreciation for snow.

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