10 College Lies with Cringe-Worthy Consequences

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Many of us stumble through college with the “no ragrets” mantra leading our decisions. The yolo justification can result in us to lying to our professor about being ill when the Fireball and Whataburger come back up minutes before class. The occasional fib never hurt anyone, especially not the professor that let you make up that quiz. Although, not all lies result in a happy student and a clueless teacher. Check out 10 lies that come back to bite students in the ass.

1. “I’m not drinking tonight.”

As soon as those words escaped your mouth you knew it was a lie. This classic fib may seem harmless, but the consequences are worse than a sober night at the bar. Swearing your cup will be void of alcoholic beverages means some major responsibility, whether you’re attempting to still make it to your morning class or be the free ride home. Unless you want to fight to the death for a cab at 2 a.m., admit you’re actually feeling a few mojitos that night.

2. “I read the syllabus.”

Syllabus week is practically a college holiday. A few days of no textbooks, pop quizzes or long lectures. Skipping the syllabus seems obvious, you can only hear about plagiarism and attendance policies so many times, but professors fight back after seeing their 50 page syllabus put on the back burner year after year. Look out for a second day syllabus quiz that can be anywhere from extra credit to an actual quiz grade. Touché, teachers.

3. “Yeah, I’d love to go!”

FOMO has a way of landing us at a rundown bar at 4 a.m. when you have work in the morning. Your roommate who thinks winter sunrise hikes are a total blast has you joining her before your brain can catch up with the consequences. When your alarm goes off at 5 a.m. and you realize you hate nature, you’ll wish you could take back your agreement. Feigning enthusiasm for a less than thrilling plan turns FOMO into remorse.

4. “The review session won’t help.”

“Review day” usually translates to “free skip day” for college kids. Repeat material can produce more yawns than usual, but it’s worth the trip across campus. Professors sometimes give extra credit and even answers to the test just for showing up. Being the only student to wake up at 8 a.m. on a Monday is worth a few freebies.

5. “Living with your best friend in a dorm is so much better than a random.”

It’s just like an extended sleepover, right? Wrong. While some random roommate stories should be made into a legit horror movie (aka The Roommate), getting cozy in a dorm with your best friend isn’t ideal. All those slumber parties couldn’t have prepared you for rotting food in your mini fridge or post-happy hour vomit in your suite’s shower. The inevitable roommate spats can break even the tightest bonds.

6. “I can totally handle a pet right now.”

You’re only human for having a weakness for fluffy corgi puppies. Adopting a puppy is all fun and cuddles until vet bills, carpet stains and 2 a.m. bathrooms trips make you rethink that impulse buy. A closet sized apartment that you ditch on the weekends is no place for a carefree pup. If you can barely take care of yourself, you probably aren’t ready for pet-parenthood.

7. “Yeah, I get it now.”

That last stat problem you learned in class basically sounded like Mandarin. The second explanation might as well be Greek. After mustering up the courage to ask for a repeat lesson, lying about a sudden math epiphany is usually obvious. Email your professor or go to their office hours for some one-on-one.

8. “I don’t need my parents.”

The sudden thrill of independence wears off faster than your daily caffeine buzz. After lying to yourself and thinking that you can pay all your bills with your part-time job at Forever 21, you may find yourself low on cash. Welcoming the occasional parental support can be the difference between living large and living in debt.

9. “Those two extra credit points are useless.”

Two points isn’t the most tempting incentive to write that extra essay, but when you’re tip-toeing on the B+ and A- line, two points can give you the needed push. After 16 weeks of grueling effort, those two points transform from a minor detail to a GPA saver.

10. “I have a boyfriend.”

This dying defense mechanism is used to send the guy who grabbed your butt at the party running in the other direction. Girls in clubs and bars everywhere are back to square one after word got out that sometimes it’s a bold-faced lie. Single or tied down, rejected creeps will be calling you out on this fib. Pro tip: Telling him you’re pregnant will probably make him run for cover.

Senior at Florida State University. Editing, writing, and media. Passionate sleeper and coffee drinker. Go Noles!

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