The Daily Sex: Q & A Forum

Dr. Sawyer: Most young men get an erection in two to five seconds (yes, they’re pathetically easy) and could probably ejaculate within a minute or so. The key to preventing this is communication. The guy needs to be able to tell the girl what’s going on, how close he is and to maybe slow down. Men, don’t buy into an urban legend like thinking about baseball or your grandmother! That’s the worst thing you can do. Be bold and talk to your partner, you might be surprised how effective this can be.

Dr. Sawyer: There is a possibility that pre-ejaculatory fluid (posh name for ‘precum’) may contain live sperm from the last time a man ejaculated, so if the man’s playing Russian roulette with pregnancy by using the pull out method, there is a chance that his hookup may be pregnant by about the time he actually withdraws. The lifespan of sperm once it passes the ejaculatory ducts is about 72 hours, so very theoretically, if the man hasn’t ejaculated for about three days, then very theortically, there may be no live sperm in evidence. But really …. how many college men haven’t ejaculated in the past three days? Moot point!

Dr. Sawyer: There’s little or no scientific data on this topic, but popular opinion has it that certain foods might affect the taste of a man’s semen or a woman’s vaginal fluids. For example:  Sweeter – drink lots of pineapple juice or eat bananas, papayas and cinnamon.

To avoid acidic tastes, don’t eat too much red meat, and to avoid a bitter taste, stay away from alcohol, coffee, garlic, or onions. However, given the lack of any scientific data, this whole issue could be bogus, so maybe eat what the heck you like?!

Dr. Sawyer: OK … this isn’t exactly going to sound like Shakespeare, but here’s my truism on this issue: “You can get something wherever you put something.” Most of the infections that are sexually transmissible can be passed on through various activities – through the vagina, the penis, orally or anally. The bugs that cause the infection don’t care what part of the body they invade, they just want somewhere to live for a while, so yes, you can very definitely get an STI from having oral sex. With oral sex, the “giver” is at higher risk than the “receiver” for reasons that should be pretty obvious, and so precautions taken by the “giver” that might help are: using a condom when performing fellatio (mouth on penis), a dental dam or even Saran wrap for cunnilingus (mouth on vagina), and the same for you really adventurous folks who like to orally explore the anus. 

Dr. Sawyer: What’s better, a snail wearing a helmet or a snake wearing a sweater? Research would suggest, there’s really no difference.  Uncircumcised males have reported no greater or lesser sensations during sex, and the partners of these men have also failed to demonstrate any differences. This makes a lot of sense when you realize the following – when an uncircumcised man becomes erect, his foreskin retracts and his penis then looks and feels exactly like that of his circumcised counterpart. I know this is a sketchy visual, but if you had two men with full erections standing in front of you, and one was circumcised and one wasn’t, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. So ultimately, the only difference that can be found is in the eye of the beholder and the styling of the non-erect penis … do you prefer a snail wearing a helmet or a snake wearing a sweater?     

Dr. Sawyer: If there was a specific time when all women were more sexually receptive, it could certainly streamline and maximize the efforts taken to have sex. Female dogs, for example, experience a surge of estrogen called “estrus” about four times a year, signaling that they are “in heat” to male dogs in the vicinity. Maybe the male-female mating ritual would be greatly simplified if a man could enter a bar, sniff, and say, “I smell estrus, come on, who’s ready?” Just a thought, but it could save time and several drinks!  Human females don’t work this way. Theoretically, a woman should want to have sex most when she ovulates because theoretically, her body is trying to get pregnant. However, because humans have big brains that have a greater influence over sexual desire than simply hormones, research indicates that there is no one set time in the menstrual cycle when all women are more receptive to having sex.  

Dr. Sawyer: Theoretically, the G spot is located 1-3 inches up the front (anterior) wall of the vagina, between the vaginal opening and the urethra.  I say “theoretically” as many experts question the very existence of the G spot.  Named in the 1940s after German gynecologist Dr. Ernst Grafenberg, the G spot has long been considered a place that is extremely sensitive, and when stimulated can lead to orgasm, multiple orgasms and even female ejaculation.  Some physiologists have suggested that the G spot is an internal extension of the clitoris and that’s the reason for its receptivity to stimulation.  However, the question that has never been effectively answered is, how is it that while your best friend is howling with orgasmic delight and saturating your new blinds with G spot-induced ejaculatory fluid, you aren’t feeling much at all, despite the torrid efforts of your latest lover?  Doesn’t seem fair, right, and there are many studies that would suggest that the G spot is more fact than fiction.  In the meantime, if you can locate this pleasurable little spot without your GPS, enjoy it, because clearly not everyone can!        

Dr. Sawyer: Back in the 1950’s, doctors identified a place on the anterior wall of the vagina that they suggested would provide the woman multiple orgasms if directly stimulated. A small subset of women who seem to have this G-spot, when stimulated, do in fact expel fluid from their urethra (not vagina), but it’s not urine.

Dr. Sawyer: If the woman has a yeast infection at the time of sex, there’s a great chance the man will become infected. Yeast in a man is commonly called “jock itch,” and is a fungal infection that results in an itchy red rash in the scrotal sac and in between the legs. The infection in the male can easily be treated with an over-the-counter medication, like Lotrisone. If you’re a woman who keeps getting infected with yeast, have your boyfriend checked…he could be re-infecting you. Oh, by the way, you can get yeast infection of the throat, so watch out for oral sex!

Dr. Sawyer: While getting pregnant is highly unlikely if you have sex during your period, it’s not totally impossible, so you might want to use a condom anyway.  Additionally, sex during menstruation might increase the risk of transmitting a sexually transmitted infection, so why not use a condom and take care of two potential problems at the same time? 

Dr. Sawyer: But what is too much masturbation? Although they wouldn’t admit it, many young men, from puberty through college, masturbate on a daily basis. Some masturbate as a substitute for a non-existent partner, others simply because they can. Women also masturbate, although usually, not at the stupendous rate of men. If the masturbation reaches obsessive levels, where similar to sex addiction, problems begin to arise, then obviously this ceases to be a positive activity, and then it’s too much.  

I once worked with a male who masturbated 5-8 times daily, and because he’d begun to experience less sensation (no shit!) he’d taken to pouring rubbing alcohol on his penis which then had the look of a pound of ground beef … not good. 

Masturbation won’t affect your sex drive, and for you men, the news is even better. A recent Australian study found that males who ejaculated more between the ages of 18-34 were much less likely to develop prostate cancer. So now men, you’re under doctor’s orders, you have to do it … strictly for medicinal purposes, right?   

Dr. Sawyer: In some cultures where female virginity is prized above all (while men, of course screw anything that moves while maintaining an impeccable reputation), a cottage industry of hymen reconstruction exists. The “surgeon” takes a very sheer piece of animal membrane, lightly sutures it across the opening of the vagina, and voila, she’s a virgin – again! Men think they know three things about a woman’s loss of virginity: there will be pressure because of the hymen; there will be bleeding; and inevitably, there will be pain. When the wedding night arrives the expectant man can’t wait to deflower his shy and “virginal” bride. Sex begins, and the man feels some pressure as the hymen is challenged; there will inevitably be a small amount of blood as the sutures give way, and the bride doesn’t have to be Natalie Portman to emit some convincing wails of pain. So there we have it … pressure, blood, pain, another virgin deflowered, a man’s honor satisfied. It doesn’t get any better than that!!

Dr. Sawyer: Absolutely. Despite sex being touted as a stress reducer and a nice way to relax, too much stress can definitely kill your sex drive. In previous answers I’ve already discussed the complexity of a woman’s sexual response, and likened it to a computer motherboard, vulnerable to many external influences, like stress and anxiety. Although men’s sex drives tend to be less inhibited by extraneous problems, at a very fundamental physiological level, the male erection is nothing more than a spinal reflex that kicks in a vascular response, and so stress and anxiety, often at the subconscious level, can directly interfere with a man’s ability to get busy, leading to much amazement, embarrassment and huge disappointment. Being stressed out is definitely not a positive in the world of sex.