I’m sorry to have put that awful Myra song in your head, but she’s right: miracles happen. This summer, I met a man who made me believe in fate, serendipity, kismet and any other cosmic bullsh*t you can think of.
In the lucky chance of a lifetime, I pulled a classic Parker move: I asked out the most handsome man I’ve ever seen on a NYC subway. And guess what? He said yes. Little did I know that a date for drinks would turn into an international romance. As I write this, I’m waiting for his plane to arrive. So call me lovesick, call me crazy, but my life has changed for the better, and yours can too. I’ve learned a lot over the years, and I’d love to share it all with you. Enjoy Parker’s Pointers for Finding the Perfect Man.
The more I’ve dated, the more I’ve realized how easy it is to distinguish between a love connection and a decent conversation. I have a wonderful friend who struggled to cut ties with an ex. Though she could clearly see how negatively he affected her – emotionally, mentally, psychologically – she was simply too sweet to give him the verbal ass kicking he so richly deserved. When you’re testing the metaphorical waters in a new relationship, don’t turn a blind eye to the detrimental effects of your new man. Realize that you not only deserve, but you need to demand to be treated with respect and thoughtfulness. While he doesn't have to wait on you hand and foot, any man with whom you grace your presence ought to want to make you happy. So remember that you are entitled to share your time, money and heart with a man who is truly worthy. Don’t hesitate to move on from a relationship that isn’t satisfying. You’ll save so much time and stress.
Excuse my language… but when you find a man that you can’t stop thinking about f*cking, he’s probably a great catch. Sex is about so much more than f*cking, though. When you and your partner are absolutely enamored of each other, it stops being intercourse, and it turns into the elusive act of making love – don’t cringe. Once you’ve actually experienced that insane, effervescent surge of adoration, it’s practically intoxicating. Don’t settle for plain old sex. Find a man who makes your heart pound, your knees go weak, and your eyes roll back – all for the right reasons.
While we’re at it: look for a guy that you can’t stop touching. Holding his hand gives you butterflies, nuzzling his shoulder makes you sigh and the lightest kiss on your forehead might just make you faint. Chemistry is chemistry, and your body doesn’t lie.
It’s come to my attention that my roommate is also very much in love with her manfriend, and the other night, I came home to our apartment to find the two of them, in our KITCHEN...doing homework together. I couldn’t get over how giddy and happy they were, sitting at the kitchen table and problem-solving. Any couple that can really find so much joy in such a domestic and otherwise tedious situation has got some serious staying power, and I respect and appreciate that. Look for a guy who doesn’t mind helping you fold the laundry, who won’t grow impatient when you struggle with polynomial equations, who would LOVE to go grocery shopping with you at 11:00 p.m. because you really need chocolate syrup. Find happiness in the most humdrum circumstances, and you know you’ve found yourself a keeper.
Fight. Communication is so terribly important in a relationship, and to be honest, that’s the crux of my success in this new and exciting one. Because we can talk, openly and honestly, very little escalates into a huffy argument. The term “fight” is relative, but what I mean is that you two should be comfortable with honesty and open discussions about problems that arise. This is a huge indicator of future successes, because if you two can’t even compromise on which DVD to watch, married life will not be a walk in the park when real problems crop up. So don’t be afraid to be honest, almost immediately. Be your best self, and see if your best self matches up to his.
I’ve kissed my fair share of frogs…maybe even toads, compared to this Prince Charming. But here’s the kicker – my new man didn’t need any miraculous transformation. Since day one, the spark, magic and fireworks have been there. Sure, fights happen. Not every day is Hallmark-card-worthy, but let me tell you something: the days where I find myself with butterflies in my stomach, my cheeks sore from grinning and an incontrollable urge to hold him vastly outnumber any other kind of day. Those are the kinds of days that you deserve. Those are the kind for which you should strive. I promise – the man of your dreams is out there. Don’t waste time on anything less.
Photo: at http://blog.catermydate.com/2012/03/finding-the-perfect-match/
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