Unfortunately for the planet, not everybody is blessed enough to look like Ryan Gosling. But that doesn't mean a guy who doesn't can't do just as well with women. We all have that one friend that looks like he had a bowl of ugly for breakfast that somehow, beyond any one's comprehension, still manages to consistently close with the hottest girls. The guy's pond reflection scares away fish and he's barely tall enough for most roller-coasters, but he flips over more 10's than a bank teller. He's obviously not relying on this less-than-stellar aesthetics, but he's gotta be doing something right.
You don't need to look like a famous actor, be a mind-reader or have the debonair aura of the Dos Equis guy to have infallible game. All girls are different, but these 10 tips for your playbook will help you score on almost any field.
1. Be Funny
Before you make her moan, you have to make her laugh. Using humor will make her comfortable with you, have her hanging on your every word, and show her that you're a lot of fun.
2. Be Confident
The only thing sexier than a funny guy is a man who walks and talks with confidence. Approach her, ask for her name, shake her hand. If you're hooking up, don't ask if you can do this, put your hand here, etc. Just go for it, and if it doesn't fly, respect it. A man that goes for what he wants and does so with class and ease, will get it.
3. Smell Good
This one is as easy as two clicks of a cologne bottle before you leave the house. According to director of Chicago's Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation Alan Hirsh, as he told Cosmo, pleasant aromas stimulate the part of the brain that is connected to sexual desire. Heather Matock, a University of Pittsburgh junior, says she is more attracted to men that smell good, and notices them more. “The smell of a nice cologne when a guy approaches me definitely sparks my interest and I will be more into you sticking around,” she said. She warns, however, not to over-do it. “I don't want to be able to smell you from across the room,” she said.
4. Keep it Together at Parties
Being a drunk, belligerent mess at a party will dry girls up faster than extra strength Bounty. There's a fine line between loosening up, and being “that guy,” who's yelling, falling, and puking everywhere. Make sure you don't let liquid courage sour into liquid humiliation. Girls like a man that can handle himself. Even if you're lucky enough to get a girl in bed after downing 20 shots, you might have trouble “rising” to the occasion.
5. Shut Up and Listen
Girls can tell when you're smiling, nodding and pretending to hear what they're saying while really just tuning them out and planning your next move. Don't be texting constantly when you're holding a conversation, be sure to make eye contact, and provide input. Girls love talking about themselves, so ask them questions. Basically, make it all about her – you'll get your own type of gratification later. You may find that, inadvertently, enjoying a good conversation and learning about her interests, instead of silently gaging her bra size, might be a nice byproduct.
6. Win Over Her Friends
Often times, girls seek confirmation from their gal pals. They usually trust their friends' opinions when it comes to men, so the stamp of approval is worth its weight in gold. And besides, if she's on the fence about you, there's no better person to have on your side in the girl talk than her best friend.
7. Be a Gentleman
You've heard the saying, “nice guys finish last,” which in many cases can be true. However, those are the poor saps that make themselves doormats. You can be nice without being chucked into the friend zone, if you go about it the right way. Don't be too overly-accommodating or bend over backwards doing sweet things for her, but don't be a jerk thinking it will get her into bed. Treating her with respect always goes over well, opening doors is a fan favorite, telling her she looks nice never fails... simple stuff like that. If you strike a good balance between being polite but still being your own man, the nice guy won't finish last, he'll finish inside.
8. Chill Out
Nine times out of 10, persistence will get you the job, but it won't get you the girl. Don't incessantly Facebook-chat her, be sure to keep it to one text at a time, and if she doesn't respond then just forget about her, she obviously doesn't know a good thing when she sees it. Repeated invites and attempts can look desperate, or creepy. Jumping all over people and slobbering and demanding attention is only endearing when puppies do it, so be sure to hang back more often than not.
9. Be Patient
You might not strike gold with the first swing of your pick. If she says she's not ready, be gracious and understanding. Don't get mad, pout, beg, or throw a temper tantrum – girls can go elsewhere for a babysitting gig, and get paid for it. The good news is that chances are, if you're cool about it, it'll happen sooner than either of you think. Patience, says Gemma Downey, a junior at the University of Rhode Island, “definitely” pays off in the long run. “I think anytime anyone didn't push me to do something, I just wanted to do it more.”
10. Be Modest
Confidence is one thing, cockiness is another. It's real nice that you were the soccer team's best defensive player in high school, but it doesn't make for great party conversation. Girls don't care about how expensive your watch is, or how many other girls you've slept with. Mention any of these things and you might as well spray girl repellent on your penis. Just be yourself and be cool, that will speak for itself. Hafie Yillah, a junior at the University of Maryland College Park, said that humility is the most important trait to have of any of those listed above. “Not to count out all the other factors mentioned, but I think the ability to embody all or most of those characteristics and still remain humble takes a lot of self control and maturity. Since humility is a trait that is pretty hard to fake, it matters in the short term and the long term for any type of relationship.”