By > Nick Mercurio > University of Maryland, College Park

Photo > Nick Ellis > George Washington University

Life at school means no parents, no rules...and no food. Mom’s home cooking is gone, replaced by the impending indigestion known as the campus diner. But fear not, you can post- pone the inevitable. Play your cards right, and fraternities will pick up your food tab for the five glorious days known as “Rush Week.” It’s hard to wrap your mind—and your stomach—around, a whole week of people throwing you all the beer and buffalo wings you can handle. But these frat guys are looking for pledges to abuse, not hungry kids to feed, and they've got their eyes out for moochers. 

First, get a handle on the scene.  Flyers in the dorms will have all the info you'll need - the meal schedules. See who's got the best eats and plan your attack, but if you’re looking to avoid a bid (an invitation to join the fraternity), remember: DON’T GO TO THE SAME FRAT TWICE. The better you know the guys, the more likely you are to get a bid, and the messier the ensuing break up. 

Unfortunately, you can’t just eat and run. That’s a dead giveaway you’re a mooch, so be sociable. Go in, talk, play some Super Smash Brothers and above all, EAT, EAT, EAT! Another rule for Rush Week: don't waste it. Come starving, leave ready to puke.

Lastly, have an exit strategy.  If you've done your job, these guys will think you're an eager rush, not a hungry mooch.  They might invite you back for the rest of the week's events, or even offer you a bid. But these guys are going to throw some of the best parties on campus, so don't just blow them off. Give them a real phone number and a convincing excuse. 

They've heard it all and they're prepared.  Crappy grades last semester? They have notes from every class.  Not into the whole "fraternity thing?" Don't worry, they're not like other fraternities.  Don't forget the valuable skills you've learned from years of dodging tests and turning in late papers: "family issues" still sound important and are still too private to talk about.

And that's it.  Eat, drink, be merry... and be gone.  Go home, sober up, work up an appetite again. Who knows? You might even end up pledging.

Bite-Sized Mooching

Not sure you can handle rush week’s gauntlet of Greeks? Check out these other free food bonanzas.

Floor socials

You live on the 3^rd floor, but you’re building has eight. No reason not to hit ‘em all. And isn’t your friend’s building doing something tomorrow night? After all, it’s about building a sense of community, right?

Parents

Before you leave for school, get the biggest cooler you can find and raid the fridge like a tubby kid’s candy stash at Fat Camp. And if your folks are driving you back to school, make sure to hit them up for a major food shopping run before they go.

Student groups

You like pizza? Good. Make sure to go to the first meeting of every club on campus. Stop by the student Democrats meeting, the Communist club and even those weird Rocky Horror Picture Show kids. But stay away from the vegan club; there are worse things than the dining hall out there.