Welcome to online-astoria.com

by Karen Turner

You and me, baby, ain't nothing but mammals.

There are many reasons that nobody out there should be fretting about finding love, relationships, or even the elusive “one” (rising world population and internet dating sites, just to name a few). Science has usually been another powerful ally on the side of single people, as study after study seems to suggest that matrimony is an unnatural state, love is purely chemical, and maybe we should just all be having sex like rabbits. I mean, it’s all about reproduction, right? Passing on your genes. Embracing your instincts. Selecting a mate that will help you create a genetically-superior-super-baby. Survival of the fittest! (As in the British slang “fit,” meaning sexy, as in, survival of attractive British men everywhere? Right? Maybe?)

There’s one study in particular that seems to break down sex, dating, and attraction into the hormonal, chemical process that it all could be. Claus Wedekind is a Swiss zoologist who decided to study the connection between smell and attraction. He created an experiment where he had a group of male volunteers wear the same t-shirt for 2 straight days. He then collected the t-shirts and presented them to a group of female volunteers, who were asked to smell the shirts and rate how sexually attractive they found each male based on odor alone. Claus found that the women overwhelmingly preferred the smell of males with differing major histocompatibility complexes than their own. This system, the MHC, refers to a massive genetic family responsible for an individual’s immune system. So, the females’ sexual preference seemed geared towards choosing a mate whose genes would strengthen her baby’s immune system, and thus, ability to survive.

The implications of this study, that who we are sexually attracted to is determined by our genes, makes me breathe a sigh of relief. It explains that weird crush you had/have on that person you thought you hated. It means that you should follow your sexual instincts and not your rationalizations. It means that everybody should stop showering, washing their clothes, and wearing deodorant. But above all, it suggests that finding “love” has less to do with looking or being perfect and more to do with just sitting back, being yourself, and deeply inhaling the armpits of each potential date.

Sweaty T-Shirt Study on PBS

Image Source: mashedmusings.files.wordpress.com

by Karen Turner

A hydra asexually reproducing.

Sitting down to write a blog this week proved more challenging than I expected. The reason, I began to realize as I twiddled my thumbs and waited for the keys to start typing themselves, was that I was suffering from a real lack of inspiration. How could I possibly write 200 words about sex when I haven’t had any myself in a quite a while? It seems that as the Laid & Paid section took me on as a sex blogger, my real sex life entered a dry spell.

Actually, this indefinite period of celibacy has proved interesting. What I’ve experienced is a newfound acceptance of the nonsexual state in which I seem to be floundering. While I expected to face, and have in the past, a sort of unbearable buildup of sexual frustration, I instead find myself in this zen place where sexual urges seem to take a back seat to other priorities. I feel, quite frankly, asexual. And it’s a strange place to be.

Given my strange new nonchalance to my sex life, I decided to do a little research into the actual community of asexuality. In 2001, the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (conveniently abbreviated into AVEN, which offers wonderful lexical possibilities) was launched online, aiming to inform the general public of the existence of asexuality as a recognized sexual orientation as well as to foster an asexual community. The site claims a current following of over 6,000 members of all ages and nationalities, all united by a common disinterest in sexual activity. It isn’t any kind of problem with actual sexual functioning; asexual men and women could theoretically have sex. They just feel no need to.

Asexuality is different from celibacy, the website claims, in that asexuals can’t help it. They are born with no desire for sexual pleasure. They run into problems in that they too want to engage in romantic relationships, but to do so without sex is, to a lot of people, inconceivable and weird. Many asexual couples have found each other through the AVEN network and are now in comfortable, loving relationships.

There has been little research on the subject and asexuality remains, as of now, a self-defined group. Some psychologists claim that asexuality cannot exist and any lack of sexual interest must be the result of trauma or repressed homosexuality. However, the orientation is generally considered some kind of middle ground on the sexual bell curve where all humans must fall. A popular statistic estimates that some 1% of the population is asexual.

While I may feel strangely disconnected to my libido at the moment, I don’t think that this phase is long-lasting or significant and I can’t, quite frankly, imagine an asexual life. Indeed, one of my most enlightening thoughts provoked by an interview I watched with 26-year old AVEN founder David Jay was “I’d tap that ass in a second.” Despite this, I think it is worth examining asexuality as it seems to threaten a fundamental belief that sex is necessary to the life experience. If, to a group of people, it isn’t, than what is?

Image Source: scienceclarified.com

by Alyssa

There is a little something I think I need to share with the world before we go any further.

Sometimes, I need a fix – it’s an addiction problem above all else and unfortunately has often sent me on a downward spiral – bad grades, ditching my friends, not sleeping, poor eating habits which, inevitably, lead to the Freshman 15, the Sophomore 7 and the Junior 4. This past fall, call it Divine Intervention if you will, I have taken a step into recovery, mostly because, lately, reality TV sucks.

That’s right… I am your typical, 21-year-old reality television connoisseur college student. I do have a problem and its embarrassing that it is only TV, but in the end, I am not in debt to my eyeballs from said addiction. Silver lining? Yeah I didn’t think so.

Think of the wonderful days of yester, when Christian claimed everyone a “hot tranny mess,” the biggest issue on Rock of Love were Daisy’s lips, Tila chose Bobby when obviously she should have chosen Dani and New York was still a dramatic mess.

Taking a look at the past shows that were on this fall season, they have hardly been enough to satisfy an itch.

Real Housewives of Atlanta – They hated each other, and all turned out to be dead broke with baby daddy issues except for the only one I couldn’t stand. The short one married to the NBA star I had never heard of.

Charm School – Rock of Love – HUGE Bret Michaels fan, I adore Sharon Osbourne, but this season of R.O.L really just made me sad more than anything else. So we have taken the girls we all loved to hate who hated to love Bret Michaels, put them in the same house and decided who was the trashiest and needed Charm School the most. But, there was that one girl from season 2 who got so drunk she didn’t make it to the first elimination… ooops, she did it again.

Celebrity Rehab­ - Honestly, are we even a little surprised that a 1990s super model was addicted to opiates, Southern songstress a raging alcoholic, Gary Busey in general, or Jeff Conaway’s return? No. It was interesting in that “car wreck, can’t look away” kind of way.

Those were the big ones that had held so much promise for me personally and yet, nothing. Much like settling for extra dark chcolate when all you really want is milk chocolate with gooey caramel inside.

What will satisfy or leave us aching for more in the coming seasons?

Rock of Love Bus, Double Shot at Love (the Icky Twins take on Tila Tequila’s show), new Project Runway (should they find 

a network), another American Idol, will the new season of Real Housewives Orange County EVER get good already, or will my undying love for Ellen have to continue? You be the judge! Leave your feedback and let me know what you think!

image sources: http://assets.gearlive.com/tvenvy/blogimages/realhousewives_atlanta.jpg, 

http://blog.vh1.com/files/2008/07/rock_of_love_3.jpg