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• I know finishing and then getting out of rehab can be hard, but actually trying to get into rehab?  That’s something only the alleged stalker of Celebrity Rehab’s Dr. Drew Pinsky would do.  Charles Pearson is being charged with felony stalking after threatening Dr. Drew and his family with really scary-sounding stuff.  Dr. Drew, always the concerned psychologist, seems understanding about the whole thing however, saying he hopes Pearson gets the help he needs soon.  I just hope he isn’t able to post bail.
• The Academy Awards are this Sunday(!), and I’d just like to say that if Avatar wins the Oscar for Best Picture, I will personally write a very nasty letter to the Academy and, with my editor’s permission, post it right here next week.  Adding blue people does not change the fact that Fern Gully + Pocahontas = Avatar.  Even if Sam Worthington is the best-looking blue person I’ve ever seen.

Best part of the movie, hands down.

• I do, however, hope Jeff Bridges wins Best Actor—the Dude at least deserves an Oscar for the loss of his rug, which really did tie the room together…

• Want to see Braid Paisley face-plant during a concert?  Today’s your lucky day! You can watch him fall over and over again!  And before you accuse me of being insensitive, he’s fine.
• Conan O’Brien is reportedly going on tour this April!  I am going, even if I have to sell an organ to buy myself a ticket.  My favorite ginger isn’t allowed to return to television until this fall, according to the settlement made with NBC, so I guess this is his way of keeping himself busy while showing the network execs that they can kiss his skinny pale behind.

Serious face.

Image sources: http://resources3.news.com.au, www.etonline.com

• Some lady in Italy just couldn’t contain herself when it came to David Beckham.  Apparently, she works for an Italian TV show that plays pranks on people and thought it would be funny to stick her hand down Beckham’s pants and grab his junk.  The soccer star’s bodyguards immediately removed the woman from the area, and she still tried to run after him, yelling about how she wanted to see it!  The footage captured by one of the program’s cameramen still aired, and, lucky for her, charges are not being pressed.  Seriously, contain yourself!  It’s embarrassing for every other woman who has ever had a thought about throwing herself at Beckham (i.e. me).

*drool*

• Michael C. Hall, one of the most talented actors on premium cable, recently made a statement about his battle with Hodgkin’s lymphoma, a type of cancer.  According to interviews, Hall knew people would speculate about his rather sickly appearance at this past Sunday’s Golden Globes, and he figured he’d say something beforehand so it wouldn’t be such a shock.  Despite the recent hardship, Hall came to the Globes beaming, accompanied his wife and co-star Jennifer Carpenter.  He won the award for Best Lead Actor in a Drama, which he accepted with a heartfelt and gracious speech.  Bill Paxton, another nominee in the same category, allegedly made a rather inappropriate comment as Hall approached the stage to accept his award.  He supposedly said that Hall “played the cancer card”, which is why he won instead of Paxton.  Needless to say, I really want to wipe that smug smile off Paxton’s face.  But I guess the more mature thing to do in this situation would be to point out that, cancer or not, Hall is still the one with the Globe.  So suck on that!  (Immaturity 1, Allie 0)

One of the most deserving winners of the night.

• Bristol Palin is demanding child support from her baby daddy, Levi Johnston.  Basically, his lawyer says that Levi has offered Bristol financial support plenty of times, but she simply didn’t take it.  Apparently, the money Bristol is asking for is temporary support until legal documents are finalized that would order Levi to pay a set amount of child support each month.  It’s a real hot mess, especially since some helpless  baby is caught between these two simpletons.  If their whole situation isn’t enough to scare teenagers away from having unsafe sex, I don’t know what will.
• It’s official: Conan O’Brien’s last show will air this Friday, January 22.  I am disappointed to say the least.  NBC really screwed everybody this time, and I hope they realize how stupid they are to keep Jay Leno on the air…maybe it’s because morons relate better to other morons?  Anyway, in case you didn’t understand exactly what the whole conflict between Conan and the network, the great Pee-Wee Herman is here to help:

http://www.tonightshowwithconanobrien.com/video/clips/pee-wee-explains-012110/1195640/

Image sources: www.marieclaire.co.uk, www.altfg.com

• TEAM COCO!!!  It’s about time that smart, actually funny people take back late-night TV, and Conan O’Brien is the key.  NBC needs to recognize talent when they see it—here’s a hint: it doesn’t have a giant chin and a lisp.  The latest disheartening rumor is that next week will be the hilarious ginger’s last week of late-night!  If you agree with me, join the group on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/imwithcoco?ref=ts.  And if it makes any difference to you, President Obama is on our side too: http://www.tonightshowwithconanobrien.com/video/clips/obama-supports-conan-011310/1192856

My favorite ginger.

• American Idol is going way downhill after this season—Simon Cowell, the delightfully persnickety Englishman of Idol has announced that he’ll be leaving to work on his new show.  It’s called The X-Factor, and it’s a spin-off of a hit British reality series similar to Idol.  Simon’s brutal honesty will surely be missed, since we’ll be left with Kara DioGuardi trying to translate Randy Jackson’s virtually incoherent critiques of the contestants: “Dawg, it just didn’t do it for me dawg.  I’m like, what?”  Good luck with that.

At least I'm not as judgmental as this guy…right?

• Did anybody bother to tell James Cameron that he should really watch Pocahontas and FernGully before he decided to spend half a billion dollars on Avatar?!  Because when you combine those two animated children’s movies and add some cool 3-D effects, Avatar is what you get.  Don’t get me wrong: I thought it was an awesome movie, and I really want an avatar now.  It just blows my mind that even $500 million can’t buy you an original storyline.  Oh well.
• There’s a rumor floating around that Jersey Shore’s most punch-worthy cast member, Snookie, will star in her very own reality TV show—Snookin’ For Love.  I can only hope that it’s just a rumor for the sake of my fellow Jersey natives; I’m not sure we can take any more humiliation at the hands of MTV.  For the record, most of the cast members are from New York—shouldn’t the show be called something like Dirty New Yorkers Who Invade the Jersey Shore?  Ugh.

Who told her that hair poof looked good?

• Tiger Woods has reportedly checked into rehab for a sex addiction.  I wish him all the best…NOT. What a pig.

Image sources: www.blogs.villagevoice.com, www.celebritywonder.com, www.turbo.inquistr.com