by Karen Turner
Writer engaging in "The Growler," demonstrating her feisty attitude (and hinting at what a wild romp she would be in the sack!).
We’re all familiar with those classic self-taken and group photos that girls love to post on Facebook. We’ve all seen them, taken them, spent embarrassing amounts of time in front of PhotoBooth perfecting an adorable “kissy” face photo for our profile pictures. Guys enjoy participating in self-taken pictures as well, but there’s no mistaking that girls are the primary perpetrators. After all, the affectionate label for any individual who enjoys taking and posing for hundreds, even thousands of these photos is “camera whore.”
So here’s a guide to some of the basic Facebook photo poses we’ve all come to recognize and how best to maximize their effect…
The Kissy-Face: Girl or group of girls will all face the camera and pucker up. The kissy-face is one of the most basic poses that is often used in conjunction with a variety of other poses, so it’s important for every girl to come equipped with a well-rehearsed kissy-face. This can be achieved after spending hours in front of the mirror figuring out how to make the upper-lip look as luscious and Angelina-Jolie-esque as possible. While the kissy-face is effective open-eyed, a closed-eye kissy-face is typically much more seductive. (Example here, but you DEFINITELY have seen this one.)
The Playful, Stick-out-your-tongue (SOYT) Face: Demonstrates your care-free playfulness by gaping your mouth and sticking out your tongue. The SOYT can exude child-like innocence, femme-fatale danger, or drunken sloppiness. Just keep in mind that the ultimate point is to demonstrate how good at blowjobs you are. (Example jacked off some random girl’s WebShots. If you can google it, it’s fair game.)
The I LOVE ALCOHOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!: Variations on the kissy-face and SOYT face, only with alcoholic beverages or paraphernalia as the object of attention. These photos usefully communicate the likelihood that you’ll make out with random guys at the bar with the help of your trusty beer goggles. (Oh hey, thanks again to WebShots. Who knew you were still around?)
The Sorority Squat: Classic sorority pose where the girls line up in two rows and the first row of girls squat down at approximately 145 degrees, simulating doggy-style sex. Arms are usually placed on your knees to accentuate cleavage. (Perfect example here, except for the fact they look like they’re all getting married.)
The Growler: This is a good pose to resort to when you’re unprepared (somebody throws a camera at your face unexpectedly, or they’re using a flash in a dark room). Simply make a growling, cutely-angry face by bearing a little bit of teeth and, if you want to embellish a little bit, simulate “claws” with your hands. This pose sends the message that you can be a tiger in the sack and are up for a little rough lovin’. (See me! above)
The Girl-on-girl: These photos feature you and your girlfriends showing your sisterly love for each other by making out, grinding, or somehow fondling each other. The most innocent “girl-on-girl” will feature a simple kiss on the cheek, but this pose can quickly digress into the downright obvious, including boob grabbing, grinding, simulating other sexual positions and the like. Make sure that your girlfriends look hot so that these photos maximize their effect (if your friends are ugly, just get new friends!). (Now now, I see you wanting an example here … That’s for your own time.)
NOTE: All of these photos must look as though they were taken effortlessly, in one take, despite how many photos one goes through to achieve the perfect picture.
There you have it! Now lets get snapping away!
Photo credit: Melissa Shapiro.
Tags: blowjobs, camera, camwhore, facebook, kissy, photos, posing, sexy
This entry was posted
on Monday, December 7th, 2009 at 7:05 am and is filed under Sex & Dating.
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